By Not Jewish - 02/03/2009 08:10 - United States
The Top
By ihateeverything - 30/01/2009 17:05 - United States
By Sith Dad - 05/09/2018 15:00
By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States
By Cody - 30/12/2008 09:35 - France
I hate myself
By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney
By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 04:00
By atalose - 06/03/2017 07:00 - United States - North Las Vegas
By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Niles
By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 15:06 - United States
By bambisapphic - 02/10/2016 23:33 - United States - Denver
bambisapphic tells us more.
By quackers - 08/07/2016 07:00 - United States - Columbus
By pk24 - 25/02/2009 23:46 - United States
By Watsausrname - 14/06/2016 02:31
By idiocy Trumps reason - 10/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Mission
By LadyGoombah - 07/07/2016 01:54 - United States - State College
LadyGoombah tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here! I've been having fun reading the comments and, out of context, I would totally deserve this. However, this happened about 6 years ago and I just wanted to share this with you all because my mom is an FML gem haha. "My dog" was actually the dog I received as my 13th birthday present. In all honesty though, he was more my mom's dog than anything.. she even chose the breed so it appealed to her tastes rather than the rest of the family's (standard poodle). Then she let my sister name him after she threw a hissy fit and he was dubbed Danzig (Danny). But Danny was great and really smart when we first got him. He caught onto tricks almost instantaneously. Sadly, my mom who is only 4'11 and 90 lbs and a total nut thought allowing a grown 1 year old standard poodle to jump out of the car on his own was too much to ask of him and was convinced she was supposed to carry him out instead until one day she dropped him on his head on the driveway. He actually had brain damage and he was unable to be trained very easily (it took months just to reteach him his name) but he was still such a sweetheart and a joy to be around! So when I say she "untrained my dog", it had much less to do with him not listening to commands and more to do with the fact that he had been respectful of other people and gentle and knew not to eat food off of the counters until after I left.. in which case she taught him it was okay to jump full force on guests, steal food off of people's plate (he made attempts even when you were watching!) and, of course, SOMEHOW teaching him to fart on command to "toot toot!" (she didn't even know how she successfully did it. Probably just by saying "toot toot!" every time he farted for 6 months). My mom thought it was the greatest thing and during dinners she would just yell "toot toot!" and Danny would release some of the most vile farts haha As for the people wondering why I left my dog for 6 months with my mom, I'm sure in context you can see it was to go pursue an education since when I left I was 18. I'm 24 now with my own lovely black lab Nylah and I can barely leave her with a dog sitter for more than a day without feeling guilty! For your own amusement, I have made my profile picture of the dog Danny (if you look, you'll see red and orange on the top of his head. That's because my mom gave him a mohawk from head to bottom and had it dyed red).
By Rmglrsm - 23/06/2016 02:21
Got em
By stinker - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 02:45 - Sri Lanka
By ScratchCatPower - 19/04/2016 19:04 - United States - Trumbull
ScratchCatPower tells us more.
Heyo. OP here! Yes, my parents always told me not to talk with food in my mouth... Haha. Though in this instance, since I always thank my bus driver, I figured I should just thank him despite the fact that I had a mouthful of candy. Didn't turn out the way I expected. Also, very true, #2. I probably should have savored it. Alas! The candy! Tis lost forever, a true tragedy indeed. ;-;
By crossl17 - 12/11/2018 15:30
Dream baby dream
By MandieL - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton
By let it go! - 01/12/2018 13:00 - United States - Hesperia
By RainbowSuck - 07/02/2017 16:00 - Canada
This is a low
By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
By Jack Faire - 12/02/2019 02:00
Where's all the hot dudes?
By sad - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00
Fuel to the fire
By Why? - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Charles
By Oy Vay - 14/11/2016 06:09 - United States - Sparkill
Keywords
yeah, I thought of that, but these guys do this all day in different places, and make a ton of money from tourists. the amount of money I can afford to give probably wouldn't mean shit to them.