Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
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By
alternative-facts
| 6
If he really wants to go that way, Jesus wouldn't appreciate you guys having sex at all, unless you were expressly trying to procreate. If your boyfriend is ok "wasting his seed" and fornicating for pleasure, he shouldn't be so hypocritical as to refuse to do it doggy style. Right?
By
Nabexis
| 9
Tell him that if Jesus really Cared what position people had sex in, there wouldn't be over 7 billion people on the planet.
COMMENTS
By
Nabexis
| 9
Tell him that if Jesus really Cared what position people had sex in, there wouldn't be over 7 billion people on the planet.
By
alternative-facts
| 6
If he really wants to go that way, Jesus wouldn't appreciate you guys having sex at all, unless you were expressly trying to procreate. If your boyfriend is ok "wasting his seed" and fornicating for pleasure, he shouldn't be so hypocritical as to refuse to do it doggy style. Right?
Reply
ballerinaaub
| 17
And! If he's her boyfriend then they shouldn't be having sex unless they're husband and wife because sex before marriage is a sin dontcha know?! *sarcasm*
By
RichardPencil
| 29
It's called the missionary position for a reason.
And I'm guessing anal is out of the question.
And I'm guessing anal is out of the question.
Reply
jbuckets_404
| 38
RichardP: LOL!
By
Cynical_1
| 26
Ok, so either your boyfriend has named his penis Jesus, or he is just really weird. Actually, he's pretty weird either way. Sorry OP.
By
species4872
| 19
Apparently your boyfriend doesn't want to lead you astray.
By
sherbear23
| 13
If he really thinks that Jesus wouldn't like that, he probably shouldn't be having sex outside of marriage. I think sex positions should be the least of his worries in this case if he is so adamant about pleasing Jesus.
By
blupenguin29
| 14
That represents religion pretty well. Not that Jesus wouldn't like doggy, but how people take religion out of context to benefit them.
By
Nysha
| 17
And you said, "Lucky I'm not having sex with Jesus, then"
By
MiltoxB
| 1
*Morgan Freeman Starts Speaking in the Background*
And that was the last time she ever saw that jesus loving fool. What is wrong with you boy? A woman tells her to flip her over, you flip her over like a god-damned pancake that's about to burn. Back in my day...
*Morgan Freeman keeps talking to himself as he starts to leave their closet and head back home*
And that was the last time she ever saw that jesus loving fool. What is wrong with you boy? A woman tells her to flip her over, you flip her over like a god-damned pancake that's about to burn. Back in my day...
*Morgan Freeman keeps talking to himself as he starts to leave their closet and head back home*
Reply
Donnasbroeikas
| 11
Sounds More like Samuel L. Jackson to me
By
ObscureReference
| 1
Plot twist: Jesús is his boyfriend.