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I almost wish this is what it was, my job description is basically to ring up a customer selections and try to sell them our membership maybe helping people when they are close to the registers. All that gets done while still getting great customer reviews. I'm currently doing all that plus doing 75% of the work the unfilled position of head cashier is supposed to do.

By Anonymous - 05/07/2011 22:28 - United States

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 020

You deserved it 6 088

Teamwork

By eventer1919 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rice Lake

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 433

You deserved it 1 893

By Whatthehell - 22/10/2017 05:00

Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 608

You deserved it 331

My best friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss came back from a two week vacation. I was the only one covering for him, and I did an excellent job. It was my chance to get a promotion. I actually improved his sales while he was gone, but the only thing he noticed was that I killed his plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 645

You deserved it 5 268

By anon - 03/08/2016 03:28

Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 183

You deserved it 2 560

By stupid useless criminal - 21/11/2017 19:00

Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 633

You deserved it 568

By Dashofweak - 26/04/2016 16:17 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I did the math and discovered that every year, I pay the equivalent cost of a luxury car to a college that can't even keep rats out of the dorms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 970

You deserved it 1 578

By Anonymous - 22/02/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 7 061

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 01:54 - Australia - Stafford

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 1 490

By Jumanji - 12/12/2008 06:05 - France

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 023

You deserved it 12 131

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 1 432

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 760

You deserved it 2 429

Chunk of change

By ProneToBlondeMoments - 05/10/2009 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 389

You deserved it 5 139

By . - 05/08/2016 16:57 - Germany - Neuwied

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 233

You deserved it 1 879

By Checkpoint96 - 30/07/2016 16:25 - Australia - Victoria Point

Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 1 281

Checkpoint96 tells us more.

Checkpoint96 10

Monday 1 August 2016 8:10

Hi, OP here. Thank you all for your suggestions, I have not mentioned to her that her snoring keeps me awake, as I think that would be rude, especially as she can not do much about it. For all those telling me that I should tell her, or that it is fatal, she knows she has it, and she is also aware that it is fatal, as is my entire family. She is just one of those people who stubbornly refuses to get treated for anything, as 'it can't possibly be that bad'. My family and I have talked to her about getting a CPAP machine, but as I mentioned before, she stubbornly refuses to do anything about it.

Gamergate 1.0

By Lucie - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 361

You deserved it 5 436

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 836

You deserved it 5 057

By nerp - 29/03/2016 19:44 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 068

You deserved it 2 688

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 154

You deserved it 3 556

By Ellamare - 11/02/2016 04:13 - United States - Flint

Today, my now ex-boyfriend informed me that he is cheating on me with our neighbor, again. I wasn't aware that he cheated on me the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 961

You deserved it 1 919

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 tells us more.

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

Thursday 11 February 2016 20:37

Hey, it's OP here! Thank you for all the positive and supportive comments. Basically the story goes, we moved into a neighborhood a few months back, and our neighbor had been talking about needing some work done on her house because of lighting issued when we were all first introduced. I knew he dropped by once while I was at work to check out her lights, but he had never previously given me any reason not to trust him. So this came as a surprise to me when he revealed it to me, I guess he just somehow assumed I knew and I just didn't care. So yeah, there goes the end of a 3 year relationship. I guess all I can say now is good riddance to bad love.