Intimacy: Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my...

By . - 05/08/2016 16:57 - Germany - Neuwied

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 215

You deserved it 1 875

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By Sady_Ct - 15/05/2019 12:12

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 576

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 05:04

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 177

You deserved it 4 225

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 20:36 - United States - Temecula

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 773

You deserved it 6 087

By Courtney - 04/02/2012 20:22 - Reserved

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 464

You deserved it 34 703

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 00:51 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 565

You deserved it 5 185

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 12:12 - United States - Worcester

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 381

You deserved it 5 927

Sorry sweaty

By Tori - 05/02/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 561

You deserved it 8 384

Maybe he is gay!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2017 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 73

By NotInTheRightPlace - 17/03/2014 18:18 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 084

You deserved it 6 539

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 100

stryder9090 28

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:42

Oreos and ****? Doesn't get much better than that

Lustig_Junge 16

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:44

Well, Oreos go breast with milk! ;D

Comments

stryder9090 28

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:42

Oreos and ****? Doesn't get much better than that

salmanch 15

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:43

Level.... of motivation ?

Lustig_Junge 16

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:44

Well, Oreos go breast with milk! ;D

blvcklvnd69 14

Sunday 7 August 2016 0:47

Lol I'm not going to lie I had to read that again to get it. Nice pun btw!

enxhi96 21

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:48

Food is a good bribe for anything

vinnie_boombotz 15

Saturday 6 August 2016 20:52

Have him lick the cream off you

Sannekee 18

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:12

I know how it feels. I'm not sure pesos oreos will work for me at this point in our marriage :(

Ramisme 12

Sunday 7 August 2016 22:55

maybe try communicating.

tygerarmy 35

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:13

Having an Oreo that was dipped in breasts is better than an Oreo dipped in milk, though they are very similar.

species4872 19

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:14

Mmmmmm Oreos

xx000o 27

Sunday 7 August 2016 12:43

Mmmmmm breastst!!!

jcash52426 5

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:27

Isn't that uncomfortable? Why not lose the bra and cover yourself with whip cream

Felling 14

Sunday 7 August 2016 6:54

This dude knows what's up.

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 8 August 2016 7:53

I'm uncomfortable thinking about all those crumbs!

cuz803 44

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:32

Use it. It's OK to use food and objects to spicen up your sex appeal.

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The Top

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 286

You deserved it 734

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 2 679

The Top

Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 234

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 875

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 6 642

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 639

You deserved it 4 207

Today, I went out with my friends. As I was heading home late, I heard the stop light beeping, meaning I could go, but some cocky prick thought he could drive past before I walked, but nope, I was met with his tire as it ran over my foot. Now I have to go to school with a cast on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 173

Today, while struggling to find a job that will accommodate my disabilities, an acquaintance ranted at me about how nobody wants to work hard, and they have to earn what they get. This chucklefuck works for his father, will inherit a multi-million dollar business, and bought his house from his aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 155