Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 300
You deserved it 4 100

Same thing different taste

Comments

Jennyboo5797 4

He needs to press charges on that dumbass!

Damn_Hippster 11

I highly hope that guy was not serious...

Shoot him and say you were defending yourself.

I'd press charges if I were you! That guy who punched you, sounds to me like he has some jealousy issues

reminds me of the WKUK skit did you used to date my girlfriend where Timmy attacks Trevor for taking his girlfriend to the prom in high school

95-**** YES!!!! Keep the allusions to the WKUK coming! ****** love that show...

Yes, messed up... UNLESS the husband just found out that OP gave his wife herpes and didn't tell her...

trgower13 0

Maybe he is just mad b/c he doesn't know how to please a women like the OP did.

Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0

Obviously he has jealousy issues idiot.

So much for ex post facto... Well, sort of

gpd_deputy_1 6

FYL OP, but I think I feel more sorry for his wife. If he punched you, a complete stranger, for something that was obviously out of your control and plainly okay at the time, I can just imagine his reaction to her when he found out she apparently wasn't a virgin when they were married.

nuhuh 1

UNLESS! He was that bad of a lay and this was her way of payback?

Clearly the husband is so rubbish in bed that the OP's ex keeps saying how much better the OP was and that has made hubby mad.

Punch him back OP, if he presses you for charges you can say it was self-defense (Y)

Only one problem with that... murder, even as self-defence, is a much more serious offence than punching someone.

RedPillSucks 31

@225 Or worse, the wife went on and on about how good a lay OP was, compared to her husband.

zakkyzebra 11

Excuse me, sir. What is an ass man? Let alone a crazy one...

21, you don't know what an ass man is? FYL.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wait 'till you see the big ass piñata I got.

Haha, he's married to her. Can he blame you for banging her? Do they not get it on?

21- An ass man would be someone that is similar to President Skroob from Spaceballs in the scene where his ass in on his front side.

Buttsexpirate 9

21- I am an ass man.but I assure you that I am not crazy, or at least that's what my therapist says.

An Ass man would be the One Mr. Ass: Bad Ass Billy Gunn "Oh, you didnt know? Your ass better caaaaalllll somebody! Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages: D-Generation X proudly brings to you (The World Wrestling Federation) TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOORLD! The Road Dogg Jesse James, The Bad Ass Billy Gunn, The New Age Outlaws!" "... and if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya! SUCK IT!"

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

For slow people, I will dumb it down. OP got punched because he slept with a girl 3 years ago. The new hubby went total derpshit and hunted the OP down to punch him.

31- I still don't ******* get it! it dumb down more some please!

Hubby is dumb. Hubby punch OP. OP is confused. I hope that's simple enough. If not, then you might need to ride a shortbus for life.

OP's ex girlfriend who had sex with him 3 years ago got married and her new husband punched the op for sleeping with her 3 years ago

Hey! Some of us don't ride the short bus because we have to. We ride it because the windows taste good.

I won't even bother correcting you evil potato

KiddNYC1O 20

148 are you trying two speak too us? your so dumb! you're brain must have a lot if issues!

Oh, but some of us ride the short bus because WE ******* LIKE IT. Either that, or it's grossly opportunistic. Take your pick.

higgy6969 7
bitchslapped22 14

"your retarded" = classic failure. And I find these replies to 3 hilarious by the way!

Pretty sure 200 was trying to make a point and is not actually that stupid you guys

truwinna 0

I see anger manangement classes in his future? Possible jealousy issues?

"Possible jealousy issues"? I think it's pretty much diagnosable, no possible to it.

Sheesh. That type of jealousy is a divorcable offence in my book.

olpally 32

yes... he'll be able to after he regains his energy after being punched.. sorry to hear that op :(

Oh, so he can post to fml, but not press chardes?

ImOlivia 5

He doesn't want to play Charades, he wants to press charges. ;)

KiddNYC1O 20

My dick, large like the Chargers, the whole team.

Omg. Sorry. I'm not used to typing on my iPod -.- Meant to say press charges.

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfiend.

that actually makes sense. also you can at least work the self defense angle.

reddawn85 8

Or punch him under the principal that he randomly assaulted OP. Either way, retaliation would have been justified.

*insert lame-ass anti-retaliation tree hugging imafaggot comment here*

Or you can just have a threesome... Then assault both of them, then press charges for rape and assault.

Punch the ex-girlfriend for sleeping with both of you

barnmaster98 5

I think she's the one who's loose

williamwheat37 0

No that's what he's mad at the OP for doing to his wife

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfriend. Haha I wrote exactly the same as spazzychild without reading it first!

reddawn85 8

Then how were you able to state that all in the same post?

BellaBelle_fml 23

She probably edited it after she saw the other post. Why she didn't just change it, I don't know.

DKjazz 20

FML let's you edit your comment. Watch. See, here I am, editing my comment.

DKjazz 20

Oh, the person above me beat me to it. Kinda funny, given the situation.

I'd give her the credit though since she spelled ex girlfriend correctly.

I don't know, ex-girlfiend has a certain evil charm about it...

polocity 0

Tsss it's like he's a time traveler or somethin

polocity 0

Tss I don't get it did he date a wife or somethin?

No, she wasn't somebody's wife yet, she.. Bleh, just re-read the FML..

polocity 0

Tss I know she must of be in Utah or somethin

polocity 0

Tsss u look like a firework or somethin

polocity 0

Tss u sound like a walkie talkie or somethin. Maybe u should call to Pluto tss

Maddoctor 10

Woah. I tried to go on polocity's profile to see if she started her About Me with the "tss" thing and she got BANNED! Who would have thought? Guess I'll never be able to find out now...

KaySL- you, sir, have mastered the art of overboard. Needless to say, your comments made me laugh.

goobergirlie 5

Thank god she was banned. Borderline remedial right there.

KiddNYC1O 20

I think he/she is trying to suck their teeth through writing... Hahaha.