By Checkpoint96 - 30/07/2016 16:25 - Australia - Victoria Point
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Hi, OP here. Thank you all for your suggestions, I have not mentioned to her that her snoring keeps me awake, as I think that would be rude, especially as she can not do much about it. For all those telling me that I should tell her, or that it is fatal, she knows she has it, and she is also aware that it is fatal, as is my entire family. She is just one of those people who stubbornly refuses to get treated for anything, as 'it can't possibly be that bad'. My family and I have talked to her about getting a CPAP machine, but as I mentioned before, she stubbornly refuses to do anything about it.
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I'm amazed by the low quality of the unsolicited advice on FML. The OP has had four days to get earplugs, turn a fan on, use a white noise machine, or do any of the other infinite things not considered in the few seconds between this FML being published and advice being posted, but the problem persisted. Even if the grandmother is politely appraised of the situation, then what? "Gram, you snore, and it keeps me up. So… stop. Now." I understand the desire to help others, but this advice is about as useful as recommending somebody cook with pots and pans instead of pouring food directly onto the burners.
Forget the lack of finding a solution to cancel out the noise and get some sleep. Telling a Grandparent that they snore and it is keeping them awake is mean and disrespectful in my opinion. And you're right. OP telling his grandma to keep the noise down would not be the solution and would most likely make his Grandma feel really bad.
I don't think telling them they snore and it's keeping you awake is disrespectful, it's the truth and it isn't being mean or spiteful. It could also be a way for the OP explaining why they seem tired, or why they're sleeping away from their grandmother. However, telling them to be quiet and shut up over something completely out of their control, especially since sleep apnea is a medical condition, that is disrespectful.
If she "has sleep apnea", she was likely DIAGNOSED. That usually means a doctor TOLD her. I don't see any reason to just "tell grandma she snores". SHE KNOWS THIS and can do nothing about it (at least in the short term. Sleep apnea usually is a problem with overweight people, but that can't be fixed by next evening).
I don't know about OP or yourself but my Grandma helped my mom raise me when I was a baby and I'm sure I kept many people awake late at night. Including my Grandma. So whether it's a medical condition or not, I believe it is disrespectful and rude to tell an elder about them snoring and that it's keeping people awake. I also had a Godmother who was going through a lot of pain, day and night because of cancer until she died. She couldn't be at home anymore. She died at a Hospital. Only an inconsiderate person with no heart or feelings would tell a loved one that their snoring or sounds of agony are keeping them awake. I'm not trying to be inconsiderate to OP or you but a Grandparent or anyone snoring can't be that annoying to keep someone up for four days straight. Which now leads me to believe that OP's Grandma might just be visiting. So I hope OP can try to ride out his Grandmas visit.
Hey OP. You probably don't want to hear to get some noise cancelling headphones but she is your Grandma. Don't get upset with her. I don't know if she's just visiting or lives with you and your family. After work or school, go play some sports or work out so once you get home and after you shower you will be so tired you'll fall asleep and not even your grandmas snoring will wake you up.
You should probably suggest she see a doctor about treatment specific to her sleep apnea, if it is so bad that it is waking you from another room. It's putting her health at risk. If she is already being treated, it sounds like her treatment may be insufficient. If she has a CPAP machine and is still snoring, she may need a higher pressure.