The Top

Hi op here! I'm only twenty. I have plenty of time to date. This happened months ago anyways. I have an amazing boyfriend now. And yes I was single for seven months. You would too if you catch your ex sleeping with your cousin. It was a wedding ring and he is still happily married with a baby on the way.

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 569

By hannamacintosh - 07/07/2016 18:37 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 265

You deserved it 1 001

Roommate from hell #457

By Theguyinthedark - 30/06/2016 13:23 - Bangladesh

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 1 159

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 282

You deserved it 12 032

By Noname - 19/02/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 623

You deserved it 8 869

By KC - 17/02/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 450

You deserved it 4 406

Spoiled

By Beefy Man - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lehi

Today, I spent eight hours cutting, curing, and aligning on the racks, six months worth of beef to be dried for some tasty jerky, only to find out my dehydrator is broken beyond repair, and would cost as much to fix as the soon-to-spoil meat that I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 796

You deserved it 2 009

By Anonymous - 12/03/2016 14:13 - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 1 596

One happy family

By anon - 06/01/2015 00:15 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 302

You deserved it 2 521

Breaking news

By nicolette5785452 - 16/11/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 843

You deserved it 13 387

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 928

You deserved it 3 078

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 00:22

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 737

By shakira, when the walls fell - 23/10/2015 18:56 - Canada

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 572

You deserved it 2 987

Time to move on

By mischalucksux - 19/09/2016 13:54 - United States

Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 900

You deserved it 1 089

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 27 196

By Anonymity - 28/03/2009 03:15 - Canada

Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 5 621

Better safe than doggy

By poongoon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 794

You deserved it 927

By parishiltonsbff - 04/02/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 493

You deserved it 40 674

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 622

You deserved it 4 314

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 698

You deserved it 36 961

Today, my mom thought the best way to stop me from taking people to my room was by changing my wallpaper into a nursery-themed one. Now I get to see bunnies, letter blocks and teddy bears all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 002

You deserved it 1 667

Today, I was doing some routine maintenance on my car when a radiator connector broke unexpectedly. I realized I'd rather walk 3 miles in freezing temperatures than call my nearest friends for a ride and have to listen to their drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 200

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 274

You deserved it 6 584

Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 768

You deserved it 610