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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55685) - you deserved it (6692)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (5312)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (3585)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60316) - you deserved it (9754)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (37070)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (46229)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45371) - you deserved it (5718)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4328)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61775) - you deserved it (4431)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)



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