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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52854) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60731) - you deserved it (6354)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (10012)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (30998)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54013) - you deserved it (3295)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (40476)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33856) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States



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