Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
martin8337 36
Bite the little bugger, that'll learn him.
2lovelygirls 11
The only way to break a child from biting is to bite them back. I had with both my girls and nephew.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Someone has the next omen.
cypherwars 15
I had a cousin like that. unfortunately he bit my nose once. *ShiversRunningDownMySpine*
Narcisse_fml 25
A lot of people may disagree with me, but bite him back. Do it hard enough for him to feel pain. I had a niece who was a biter and my sister complained about it. She bit me once. ONCE! *she was a bit older, though.
kakakarotcake 17
a majority of people agree with you a actually
Narcisse_fml 25
Yeah, I read some of the comments after I posted it. I'm surprised by the number of people who also suggested she bite him back.
homerr123 15
get your nipples to start tasting like onions
ilytyvm 25
I find it insanely annoying that I posted almost the exact same FML yesterday but with more detail and mine didn't make it on the site. -.-
Redvelvet16 11
I'd bite back. Worked with ALL of my cousins and me. Plain and simple.
steffidallasbfl 16
Bite back. He'll stop
suslord 10
Spawn of Dexter