Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
sarahbevan20 11
Satan
splitintwo 6
11 months is still pretty small, "dispiline him" is probably harder than you'd think. I say it is time to stop breastfeeding esp if hes doimg that on purpose.
BerylliumSphere 3
Dude I did that as a child. Bit Everyone and everything....one day my mom got pissed and bit me back....i never bit anyone again.
creepyclowntown 10
my mother in law would bite him back and said it stopped shortly after
Emandy28 2
hello, I'm a child psychologist and was reading these comments and made an account specifically to address this fml. for those of you who are saying to "bite him back he'llnever learn if you don't show him how it hurts" you should take some parenting classes specifically child development 38or 39, or read some parenting books or just never have children. this child is eleven months old he is in his oral stage or development age 0 months-21 months, (Freud) or his sensorimotor stage of development 0-24 months (piaget, one of the most widely recognized child psychologist theorists) these both basically mean that your child is learning through their senses specifically their mouth in this particular activity, he bites and he gets a reaction, it is not about the pain, it is the same thing as when a child drops their cup and expects you to keep picking it up, (he learn about gravity). you should first stop giving him a reaction when he does this, second stop breastfeeding him he is at the age where it will not affect either of your health or his attachment with you, it is best to breastfeed up to twelve months, your basically there. second like someone already said get him a teething toy, this will be he "redirection" toy, if he bites you, you can say "no"and redirect him to something that is appropriate to bite. this will teach him that he has something he can bite, give him a positive reaction whenever you see him biting the toy. if you bite this child or hit an eleven month old (he may not even walk yet) that will be considered child abuse (hard or not) it will also show him he can't trust you because you are inflicting pain on him and he will not learn that it is WRONG he Learns that when your mad you do something to hurt someone else, there are many negative side affects to using physical punishment against a living creature specifically your ELEVEN MONTH OLD INFANT. also he is not even old enough to comprehend that you are biting him to show you what he does to you hurts, he has not learned this reaction yet. now if none of these work I suggest taking him to your pediatrician and asking her for advice since she specifically knows you and your child. NEVER USE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE OR FORCE AGAINST A CHILD USE REDIRECTION, TIME OUTS, AND WORDS. THE CHILD WILL LEARN THAT PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS OK AND A WAY TO LET OUT ANGER, THE CHILD WILL LOSE SELF ESTEEM, SELF CONFIDENCE ETC NEVER DO IT. RESEARCH YOUR PROBLEMS WITH YOUR CHILD TALK TO DOCTORS, AND BECOME OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZING PARENTS.
purebliss_fml 19
Thank god for someone with a brain!!!! #131, if I could hug you, I would.
EmmaMK 35
Very Sensible words. I've alway spoken to my kids firmly, taken them away from the situation and used distractions instead of hurting the most precious things in the world to me.
sailorarctic 22
you are what's wrong with this world and why parents are afraid to discipline their children. Every parent may love their child and it may be the most precious thing in the world to them but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be disciplined. Non violence Does Not Work. It teaches the kids that they can do whatever they want and there won't be any consequences besides a stern lecture until they're too old for you to do anything and they do something really stupid like break the law. at 11 months old a child isn't going to know squat about self esteem so you're not going to impact that. and another thing, teaching a child that they're all some special little snowflake that the whole world is just gonna love and adore and shelter from all the bad stuff isn't healthy or helpful. Love your child, look out for them, but don't allow them to be deluded them into thinking that "everybody's a winner, there are no losers and even if you do something bad it'll all be okay in the end" it's Bull.
kate3101 15
"Non-violence does not work" Really? It's only once your children are adults that you see the product of your parenting. Good luck.
ViviMage 40
Time to bottle feed!
shaytards_fml 9
Idk how some women breast feed their kids until they reach 2 years. When the kid grows teeth its OVER
flynryder 7
My kid used to do that too. Bite him back hard and he'll stop
happyfingers 15
I'd say bite him back but seeing as how the kid isn't even a year old yet I'd spank 'em. If he keeps it up you're either doing it wrong or it's not working and you SHOULD bite him back >.>
assistantrachel 2
My one year old .finds that funny too...