Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
yusa5 3
don't make a scene when he bites, it'll get boring to him.
unforgiven1993 7
flick him in the nose until he stops
nevermore905 1
My son is almost 11 months old and already knows what "no, that hurts" means. just be firm when you tell him "no!" and do your best not to react in an "entertaining" way when he bites. learning to communicate with words is a much better foundation to lay than biting back.
grumpy707 12
bite back!
notsoanonymous3 20
Poke him in the eye.
NikkiSamm 21
If he's biting things like your fore arms or fingers then do what your taught to do with a dog bite, push whatever he's biting harder into his mouth so he either can't keep his jaw shut around it or gags.
Countryboy1996 18
I know you aren't supposed to tell people how to parent, but ma'am/sir, your child needs a whoopin.
Benjamin_silver 12
******' punch ur kid
concorde_fml 6
My son did that exactly once. I was hugging him and I thought he was about to kiss my neck since that's where he leaned his head. Then I felt teeth. I snapped at him so loud he cried and hasn't bit me since. The bruise was on my neck for a week and it looked like my wife gave me a hickey.
marthamydear23 9
When my kids started biting I bit them back. it stopped