Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
slipknot6sic6 10
Slap him
nicievans 9
My Dad's fix for my brother and I biting was to bite us back. It worked. We stopped biting once we realized that it hurts. Also, as someone who was bitten (somewhere in the 18mo - 3 year range), I can tell you that I do not remember a bit of it.
namelessmonster 6
I agree with 8 but if you don't then you need Jesus!
Breck1 5
you can fotce his jaws apart with your fingers
KingreX32 21
Its the Omen child.
FallenStar06 5
I'm a mother of 2. If you're screaming "helplessly" b/c of your own child then you've got a problem. When my kids started biting I'd give them a quick pop on the mouth. Nothing that hurt them (it was more of a startling factor) unless they continued to do it then I'd gradually do it harder. It never got to the point where I hurt them. I'll tell you what - their biting problems didn't last long at all, if it could be called a problem b/c of how short it lasted. YOU are the parent. So be one and stop letting your kid boss you around.
laurapiggy 3
Bite him back. He will stop.
DGR3107 10
Punch that little shit
ThisIsTheEnd88 5
Sounds like when this kiddo bit someone the first couple times they thought it was funny, and now they are mad they are getting bit like crazy. Oops.
Ki11erC 18
The fact you use the word anatomy makes this sound a lot worse than it probably is...