By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States
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#73 That's not the point, I don't think they're doubting if their son loves them or not. The point is that it's not acceptable that a child thinks it's ok to slap someone. Doesn't matter if it's a joke, doesn't matter if they love that person. The kid will grow up learning that slapping people across the face is ok unless he is disciplined now. It's your mindset that makes kids so disrespectful, you don't teach them right from wrong.
What's with people's kids beating the shit out of them nowadays?
Did you punish him?! Had I done that when I was little I would get timeout and a whopping
Actually, from someone who is educated in early childhood development, a two year old is MOST CERTAINLY capable of understanding wrong and right; and they understand spankings. How ever you choose to discipline your child, with in reason, is up to you as the parent. However you are not doing you nor your child any good by not disciplining them properly. Oh, and just an fye, a six, seven and eight year old are capable of understanding and learning from punishments that don't involve spanking. It is usually younger children who benefit from a proper, loving and non-angry pat to the butt. And yes, I believe in spanking as a last resort, but I can't tell you how many children I've had in my care that could have benefited from the parents parenting and not being wimps.
Literally every time there's a FML about kids misbehaving everyone just resorts to spanking because it's "good parenting" and "stops bad behaviour" which makes absolutely no sense to me. Parents are the biggest influence on the child's life especially in the first 2 years, so they're going to assume that it's okay to do whatever you do. If the two year old even recognizes what he did was wrong, he's going to think that it's okay to use violence to get what he wants or vent his out his anger, especially when it involves a bigger and stronger person to hitting a smaller one. Is that how you really want to teach your kids how to handle conflict? A child's self esteem and self image is a reflection of how others perceive him, especially his parents. So if his parents are hurting him and telling him that he's being bad, he's going to think "I must be no good, what is wrong with me", the child never thinks "Wow I am so thankful my parents love me enough to hit me". Spanking is as much physical punishment as it is emotional, when a child is being spanked he feels weak and defenceless, trust is lost and their self esteem is damaged. Also, kids have a very selective memory. Even if you show love and affection 90% of the time, the kid is most likely going to remember the few times that you hit him out of anger and frustration more than the rest. Spanking is more likely to make the child more rebellious than anything. After a child is spanked they feel fear and hatred for the person inflicting pain and would likely try to avoid them. Not to mention studies have proven that no one can learn when they're afraid so when you want to teach your child a lesson it's crucial to reduce the fear than to increase it. My suggestion would be to teach your kids right from wrong by gently instructing them with love and respect because whooping their ass is only going to result in emotionally crippled adults with bad problem solving skills.
Every child is different, I was a child which spanking worked on me. I was a pretty good kid, but kids act up. My brother use to laugh when he got spanked. Spanking or non spanking doesn't make someone a good or bad parent. I never felt fear, nor was I a angry adult. In fact, I'm pretty damn stabled if I do say so myself. I also believe their is more to disciplining than spanking, but keep you're damn "you're a bad parent because you spank" beliefs to yourself. A good parent isn't determined by how they discipline their children; a good parent is one who raises their children with love, acceptance of others and nurtures their strengths AND weaknesses. So, I think it's pretty sad you determine a parents worth with how they discipline instead of their child's happiness.