Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
mosquito19 14
use hot sauce on him.
sailorarctic 22
time to start biting back OP. the first time you do it and they see how much it hurts they stop. or, you can go the old fashioned route and backhand him like my grandma did me. either disciplinary action works but dont let him get away with it.
Braccarius 2
@ #131 You are a child psychologist? Really.... If you want people to believe that maybe you should start by not writing like someone who is still in high-school. But, with that being said, rather than me ramble on I have a few pointed questions for you that you can answer very directly as you are, in fact, a child psychologist. #1.) How does a cup falling to the ground teach a child about gravity and what bearing does it have on anything in relation to learning the negative implications of biting? #2.) Breastfeeding has been proven beneficial until children are over two years of age.... why are you deviating from a proven and acceptable practice because the child is biting? #3.) "Redirecting with a toy". I think I saw this technique on the Dog Whisperer... I guess it worked for him... is that where you received your doctorate? #4.) When did negative reinforcement for a negative action become a bad thing? I will close with the following.... I would never harm nor hurt any living thing in my life. I will discipline my child in the manner that will best encourage their emotional growth... and this does include negative reinforcement.
ZackL624 5
Beat your kid more
J_DW_AZI 3
Milk "I want milk"
Luluthus 41
Bad news OP,your kid is a vampire.
simsgirlgem 25
You could do what my mom did with my older brother he bit her and we have video footage of it on the leg when he was two and she slapped him across the face he never bit anyone again
assholemagnet 5
put hot sauce on your finger, next time he bites you, stick you finger in his mouth from the side. worth a try.
merryhappy1887 20
Bite back. That's what my mom did and we sure never bit again! You don't have to leave marks just enough to make sure he knows how it feels.
Faeryl_fml 6
Bite him back. Doesn't have to be hard for him to get the point that it hurts