Kids, Health and Cute: Wham!

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 420

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Same thing different taste

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 671

You deserved it 12 246

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 219

You deserved it 4 774

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 2 921

By Annoymous - 03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 498

You deserved it 5 810

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 4 700

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 05:38 - United States - Albany

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 758

You deserved it 6 449

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 2 937

By nosexforthee - 23/01/2015 19:25 - United States - Katy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 653

You deserved it 7 994

Samantha Glennie 25

Tuesday 26 September 2017 22:22

They're little darlings aren't they

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 September 2017 1:59

He really doesn’t want any siblings! Crafty little bastard!

Comments

Samantha Glennie 25

Tuesday 26 September 2017 22:22

They're little darlings aren't they

Zehir_fml 10

Thursday 28 September 2017 1:36

They call those years "The Terrible Tots" for a reason.

mattyiscool123 26

Thursday 28 September 2017 3:57

It’s the terrible two’s

Talented73 54

Thursday 28 September 2017 9:03

If you were talking about a female it would be "the terrible twats".

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 28 September 2017 1:57

He's only two years old and he's already mastered the art of trolling.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 September 2017 1:59

He really doesn’t want any siblings! Crafty little bastard!

Donut_Wizard 23

Thursday 28 September 2017 3:08

You just got cup checked by a 3 year old.

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 28 September 2017 6:12

Nut sacked.

Talented73 54

Thursday 28 September 2017 9:03

That's nuts!

Kurliez408 32

Thursday 28 September 2017 10:39

Did you piss off your S/O? It sounds to me like your son got orders from a higher ground.

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Anxiety Technology Mental health Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I was having an affair in The Elder Scrolls Online. While ranting to my online elf husband, he got upset that I had a real life boyfriend and dumped me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 855

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 681

You deserved it 3 137

Today, after my sister and I got pregnant, we couldn’t wait for our kids to be best friends. The moment they could walk, they hated each other with hitting, kicking, biting, you name it. Far from cute, we now have to watch them like hawks during visits to prevent injury, and they’re only 2 years-old FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 240

Today, I was helping my boyfriend of 8 years set up his Google Mini after he complained a thousand times that it wasn't working. As I successfully set up, I got to the part where one can set up speed dial contacts and we looked for my contact on his phone. I saw my name was saved as 'Lust'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 159

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 254

You deserved it 3 332

Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 792

You deserved it 552

Wham!

Same thing different taste

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