Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
angelitared 27
You have to thump his head and be stern. That's how they learn its a no no.
EmmaMK 35
You are suggesting that you thump a BABY in the head! Really!
cbroady0529 9
I really hope you're being sarcastic.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
You've created a sadist at 11- months- old. Congratulations.
purebliss_fml 19
News flash: all babies bite. You probably did. They grow out of it. You probably did
TheRoyalBattler 5
That BITES!
worldclassrager 41
That's brings teething to a new level...get him a mouth guard...(if possible) for him to bite on...
Ductapefiend 3
Push into the bite. It doesn't hurt him and isn't punishment, but it forces his jaw to open further and release the bite. If you pull away (like most people do) it allows him to bite harder. A little Occupational Therapist's trick for kids (and adults) with a tendency to bite.
its_love2 31
You need to stop this behaviour asap! He is old enough to realise your response obviously so you need to come up with an age appropriate response to make him understand it's wrong!!!
xSkittle 16
He is 11 months.. Try to educate yourself
kernelkat 16
Is your name Bella?
awilliams44 9
he is probably teething. my niece is teething and she always bites stuff and screams and stuff.
caysters 12
Plug his nose so he lets go. Then spank him or something so he learns not to do it again. With us, we bit my mom, she bit us back. We didn't last long in the biting phase.
gabagabaheyu 10
i read that you are supposed to push into the bite so the baby will let go lol