Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
MoorePepsi 5
So your kid's like a parrot. Interesting
AnonymousBoyee 6
Time out, beat his ass something
sportgirl 14
"biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into" DIRTY MIND
asherm 15
Kids are so gosh darn cute. Muzzle time?
DonLeprikawn 5
Spank him, teach him some discipline, it's really your fault for not punishing him, to teach him right from wrong is your responsibility, not punishment for such actions will teach him it's okay and he may grow up to bully others, just give him a light spanking and if he persists up the ampy on the spanking a little each time he does it
YellowSquirrel92 17
My 22 month niece is also going through a biting phase, except on top of biting fingers or faces, she'll also try to shove her hand down your throat.
lvg_fml 10
When he bites sternly say "No biting" and put him down. It removes the attention he's looking for. This is taught by many breast feeding moms. They learn that they won't be allowed to nurse if they bite. Children don't have to be hurt to learn about pain.
FMLcommenterer 13
I'm guessing he/she isn't breastfed then...
Omniprism 15
He needs disciplined. Tell him no that he's not supposed to bite people. If you don't it will only get worse. Children need boundaries and discipline or else they won't function properly in society.
IXChaosDragonXI 13
Flick him in the forehead lol just kidding.