By danonno - 02/08/2012 21:08 - Canada - Nelson

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 262
You deserved it 3 267

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thats just awful. just....ugh fuck that shit.. *shivers*

HowAreYouToday 34

Why the hell were you born?

Comments

Get a smaller plant?

HowAreYouToday 34

Why the hell were you born?

Spiders don't only creep on large plants. It could have dangled from the roof or even crawled up from the floor!

Unless it somehow raised itself with anti-gravity webs, I doubt it "lowered itself" in front of OP by "crawling up fron the floor"...

HowAreYouToday 34

Now you're thinking with portals :D

22- Have you forgotten that spiders have webs, sir? Ahem. Disregard this comment. I read the thread wrong. I'm not too coherent at 2:45 AM.

That awkward moment when you absolutely butcher the spelling of a word easy as dining.

"a word as easy as dining"* i know it was a typo, but still.

JocelynKaulitz 28

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up OP's throat…

pcentral 17

1 - Your internet is hereby revoked. Good day, madam.

-46 dazzle me with your logic.

Radioactive spiders 22. What, they do more than give people superpowers.

Are you trying to challenge me to prove to you that god doesn't exist? Think carefully, I am not against people believing god is real, just them trying to push it on me when I don't push my beliefs on them. Like I say on my profile, to each his own.

"There once was a lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why, she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die!"

tctheamazing 7

It was a spider not a fly..

"There was an old lady who swallowed a spider, it wiggled and juggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die. "

did it catch the fly?

KissMyFurryAss 10

Next she has to swallow a bird.

Then the cat to catch the bird. I don't know why she swallowed the spider. Perhaps she'll die!

It amazes me how unlucky the people on fml are yls

I don't know why she swallowed the fly... Perhaps she'll die...

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse...she died of course!

Sorry, OP; spiders are gross and scary. Make sure there aren't any others around you! FYL

Gosh!? What is wrong with spiders! They're not like evil creepy crawlies comming to scare the shit out of you! The OP is the one who probably scared the shit out of its tiny body. All she was looking for was food, so YDI. Since the spider can't post an FML i'll re do it for him :«today, one of those stupid humans swalloed me and covered me in saliva, FML»

Hiimhaileypotter 52

64- Replace "saliva" with "stomach acids." It's funnier.

Plus the spider I'm sure died from the throat being all suffocating and what not. I'm not a big fan of spiders, personally, when there in my house. Outside they can do whatever they please.

Ok for stumach acids! But I mean spiders are just part of nature, you have to put up with them. They're the ones who eat the flies and mosquitoes too.

Yeahh um the spider didn't really make it out in one piece...

There a spider , other person "where did he go" me "in the other room !"

HowAreYouToday 34

And thus, Grammar was found dead in his bed.

There is a spider (in the dining room I guess.) Somebody asks "where did the spider go?" I reply with "It must of went into the other room." ... So I assume the guy was speaking in first person about OP and didn't want others to know he ate the spider?

Is someone "flying high off weed" again?

Is someone "flying high off weed" again?

Thank you 59 for correcting my errors, I really mean it.

…And that, boys and girls, is how a pretentious asshole of a Grammar Nazi learned to love again. The End.

Yousuck never mentioned anything about grammar. He just added more details to what OP said so we could get a better understanding of it, and I appreciate it. The first words I thought after reading OP's comment were "what the fuck", so I'm glad someone could give me a better idea of what it means. Please stop giving him shit, even if he is mature enough to take it without being insulted.

Creepy charms! It's grossly delicious!

thats just awful. just....ugh fuck that shit.. *shivers*

imvanessa917 4

you said it fuck that shit i would have died and omg theres a spidar on the wall

pinky78711 5

89- dont eat it

XxJessisonfirexX 8

Omg ! Id be no good after that . I bet op has a legit phobia of spiders now .

Shoulda just eaten it and let it burn in your stomach acids. Hey, they're a good source of protein at least!

Mister_Triangle 21

When you make a mistake, sometimes you just gotta own up and go all the way.

It's also a good source of nightmare too! Aaaahhhh

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider...

Riveting tale, chap!

kittytub 12

I loved that book! :D

mrghdfy76 8

Tasty!

flashback.miss 28

got to love that crunchy protein goodness~

perdix 29

Hey, it just wanted to share your curds and whey. Did you fall off your tuffet?