By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 811
You deserved it 5 368

Same thing different taste

Top comments

They do say you swallow a few spiders in your sleep each year, don't freak out too much just brush your teeth and try to forget about it.


They do say you swallow a few spiders in your sleep each year, don't freak out too much just brush your teeth and try to forget about it.

I saw a video of a spider crawling out of a sleeping guy's mouth. Don't tell me they don't go into the dark moist "cave".

Allennis44 16

not only did you forget to kill it but you forgot to swallow. pretty important step.

FarFromSocial 9

I'm freaking out and it didn't even happen to me. I can only imagine how OP feels, telling them to calm down isn't going to solve the fact that they had a spider in their mouth.

I heard that the "you eat X spiders" thing was a test to see how information spread around the internet. I like this theory better than the eating spiders one.

I'm reading this fml in my bed... Thanks everyone, how will I sleep tonight?

I've heard it was a hoax but I recently also read that it was true. Idk if either of my sources were credible though.

#53. Op forgot to swallow?! That wasn't the best time to act like your wife Op.

It's about 8 spiders a year. I never notice them though

blinkingstarlet 15

I'm gonna go with NEVER AGAIN for 1000, Alex!

cheshirecat13242 32

On the darker side, a spider was in OP--alive--for a short amount of time... And there's nothing to prevent it from reoccurring. Sweet dreams ;-)

Well, way to look at the glass half empty :P

Since it was in the op's mouth lets hope it didn't lay eggs in the op's mouth

cheshirecat13242 32

#35--sorry to pop your bubble of child-like wonder, but that picture you have in your head, with baby spiders hatching inside doesn't work like that in reality..

and probs laid eggs inside the "dark moist cave" OP mouth wash an entire bottle :/ hope you won't experience that again!!

On the bright side, OP got a nice midnight snack! Lots of protein and...that's just nasty. I would never recover...*shudders*

Brandon2916 9

Well depending on if it was still alive or not, you may still have killed it...just not the way you had hoped

RedPillSucks 31

Was coughed up beside her. Clutching a tub of curds and whey

If it was a human I might agree with you. But it's a spider...

Makayla18_18 13

Oh, really? Wow. I must have misread that.

what? I can't even begin to imagine how you read it. O.o

I think 5 might be using sarcasm... But who cares if it was a spider? It's still a living being with a purpose. I always catch spiders and put them outside. No need for unecessary killing.

evan_7899 28

Spiders are a terrible being with the only valid purpose of killing other insects. They are like insect exterminators yet we exterminate the exterminators.... not to go off topic here but that sounds like a new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "Exterminating the Exterminators"....Ah yes back to my point. They deserve to die a horrid death with an informal burial. Once caught in a tissue and hurled in to the porcelain throne i generally urinate on said spider for invading my privacy. They don't pay rent for living at my house they shall receive the flush of shame.

Makayla18_18 13
hunts19ketchup 23

#45, somehow I get the feeling that you had a really scarring experience with spiders as a child

like accidentally eating a spider s a midnight snack

Not when it comes to sliders. I hate those things

Could you imagine karma for killing spiders. Oh lord the entire world would end up on fire I believe.

Mynameislinh 24

That's kinda what I was thinking. But instead it was a relative of the spider you killed who came back for revenge. That's just the beginning though. They're going to invade your body and hundreds of his family members are going to attack from the inside out. And when they're finished eating your insides, they'll all exit your body through your mouth and nose. (Yeah I'm a little crazy, haha)

oj101 33

Hopefully, it didn't lay eggs in your ears beforehand.

I don't know who I feel worse for: you or the spider.

The spider is the villain. spiders are pure evil. Don't go feeling sympathy towards a spider.

what if the spider just wanted to have a sleep over with, what he at least thought, was his roommate best friend- the OP? poor spider :(

jonahwalzer 12

Wow, thats a horrible way to wake up, make sure to really kill it next time!

Sinistra_Blue 12

Kinda sounds like OP already tried to do that by eating the spider. >.> That or OP keeps his/her mouth way too open when sleeping.