Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 706
You deserved it 7 251

Same thing different taste

Top comments

A hailstorm of bullets??? What the **** is that kid eating???

ptxace 0


ptxace 0

******** is normal. loud quiet large small green brown liquid solid delicious nasty. ******** is normal.

Uncool_LikeYou 0

yeah but a hail storm of bullets is completely unnatural. that just sounds painful and un-lady like. unless it's a unisex bathroom. hmmm.

WallyTheWombat 0

I had to clean bathrooms at my old job and the women's one was ALWAYS worse than the men's.

^^ fake. women don't take dumps. jokes aside, were the lady toilets really worse?

teddygraham1 1

I use to work retail and my section was near the bathrooms so I was always the one cleaning it during my shifts, the Womens was absolutely way worse than the mens. I don't know how, but women can manage to have explosive shit all over the walls and toilet and onto the floor.

Person000 0

the womens bathrooms I clean are soooooooooooOOkoOo00000oopoopOooo worse than the Mens, women manage to shit on the walls, ceiling, sink, floor. it's like they shit in their hands and then wipe the shit all over the walls and in the ceiling cuz it smells like a dead body

A7X_LoVeee 10

Shot on the walls, ceiling, and floor? Umwat?

OhSoBueno 0
Uncool_LikeYou 0

which is exactly why I don't go number 2 in public bathrooms unless I absolutely have to. (but I always make sure to aim for the toilet.)

I'm a girl, but I agree that ladies toilets are worse. when I was at school girls used to wipe their make-up from their hands all on the sinks, they would pull the loo roll from the cubicles all around the room, on other occasions they would get loo roll, wet it, then throw it on the ceiling so it stuck there. They'd write things with marker pen all in the cubicles, usually about people. The mens SMELL worse, when you walk past it, but the ladies loos are actually really bad.

Someone thinks their shit don't stink.

WallyTheWombat 0

The worst thing that happened to the men's is that someone tried to steal a ps3 controller by cutting the package open in the back of the store. He ended up cutting his hand BADLY and tracked blood from the back of the store ALL the way to the front and all over the men's room. He had to go to the hospital before getting arrested. I had to clean it all : / The women's bathroom is still worse.

Sorry to hear that OP, but YDI for going into a New Jersey Women's restroom. Next time, console yourself in a Texas Women's stall and you'll come out smelling like orange blossoms. Guaranteed or your money back.

rofflewaffle 9

Women also don't wash their freaking hands. Like ever. It's so nasty.

b1aze 0

What's wrong with a row? I love Crew! oh wait...

^ I see what you did there. well played

In your profile pic, at first I thought it was a can of mace. haha

you didnt throw up, if u did, u would include the reaction of the kid in the fml by your crying and name, i assume youre a girl by busting in and blowing chunks in a school washroom, i assume the kid is a boy... unless im wrong, someone was in the wrong washroom

since OP's name is amy, she is a girl. -_-"

noobgang7 5

Imagine what it felt like coming put of his ass! Think about someone else for a change...

thats... why i assumed she was a girl. hence my comment which contained the words i assume youre a girl

sorry but OP YDI, bathrooms are for going to the bathroom, not crying like a little bitch! The person your complaining about should be the one on here, some little cry baby runind my personal shit time with her tears and vomit. . .

A hailstorm of bullets??? What the **** is that kid eating???

Way extreme! Haha!!! Volatile experience, eh? Very graphic as well! Fyl for sures!

I know, this post is actually fairly well written. She uses a lot of powerful imagery; I can almost smell the fetid waste...I'm gonna go take a shower.

MyraVAN 0

What does " having a huge row with my friend mean"? But yeah fyl I almost threw up when some girl came in the bathroom and did that while I was brushing my teeth.

it means she had a huge fight with her friend :l row is just another word for fight. (btw "row" in this case is pronounced like "wow")

Ok. 17 you are going to have to explain that to me.

row, n. (plural rows) 1. A quarrel, argument, fight. 2. A loud noise. I do this because I desperately want to feign intelligence.

Well 32 I meant the whole pronunciation thing. thanks Siren, btw.

Necromal, sorry,I should have clarified. My remark wasn't meant for you, it was meant for #17.

meant for 7,not 17. Damn, I think I should submit my own FML

vocabulary isnt a measure of intelligence. maybe somebody should look up intelligence on google

intelligence, n. the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience Something is wrong with this picture.

According to Sirin's definition, comprehension is half of intelligence. One's ability to read/write in a coherent fashion is a measure of their comprehension. So, someone who can read and write well can at least say that they're half-intelligent. lol. And that's something that many here can't say.

Person000 0

because they don't know what row means they must not be intelligent???

96 she said she's feigning intelligence -_- and besides, it was sarcasm.

Thanks, Ace. Someone's sense of humour transplant seems to have been violently rejected.

#7 why were brushing your teeth in the bathroom in school??

lidemocr 0

96, I'm going to start off by saying... NEVER speak to sirin that way... ever again. I will not allow it.

JokeMeister 0

no it's not. Said like beau

grumpybarista 0

it's not pronounced like "wow". It just rhymes with it.

row means fight...why the heck were u brushing ur teeth in a public bathroom in the first place?

Thanks 169. Makes much more sense. Still sounds strange to me.

thumbsup4121 0

147 96 was right she's not funny she's just self absorbed and needs to stop making fun of other people

DeadxManxWalking 27

At very first I thought it meant blunt or something lol

KVKdragon 26

aww, that sucks. try to get through the rest of the day and eat your heart out in chocolate. that's what I do whenever I'm depressed. that and I watch a tv show that isn't based on reality so I forget about reality altogether for awhile.

Autoshot 9

Well if you weren't crying and breathing so heavily, you wouldn't of inhaled so much of the shitty fumes.

KVKdragon 26

it's not we can control our emotions when we're upset over something that happened on a personal level. having a row with a best friend can be pretty impacting on one's emotions.

Autoshot 9

If you have a vagiina... I sippose.

KVKdragon 26

that goes for anyone. not everyone is an unfeeling robot that's too afraid to show emotions that are considered "weak" (guy or girl)

UnicornHooker 0

You mean "wouldn't have". "Wouldn't of" makes no sense.

wouldn't of is just fine. it's short for "would not of"

slimjim8094 12

But 'would not of' is wrong, which is why 'wouldn't of' is wrong too.

ICaughtFire 4

Thank you slimjim. I actually went through the trouble of logging in just to point that out, but it looks like you got this on lock lol.

yum. wait... girls don't poop WTF IS THIS!! LIES!!

prince122 0

then how do u explain to girls one cup hhmmm?