Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
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Top comments
beefstew_54 3
thats just awful. just....ugh **** that shit.. *shivers*
HowAreYouToday 34
Why the hell were you born?
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Comments (141)
ktlynn095 3
it added some more protine to your meal on the plus side right?
Lexi_princess 3
This is why I always run right when I see a spider. Not sit there a gasp for 10 hundred minutes.
Kajol123 5
Wouldn't "10 hundred" be more like a thousand? Just saying.
Lexi_princess 3
It's an expression.
Lexi_princess 3
Well you have.
DocBastard 40
That doesn't sound like a traumatic-enough injury for me to deal with. I'll let the staff triage him to the main ER so I can continue dealing with my drunk idiots who try to make their cars mate with trees. They amuse me less but need me more.
Brandi_Faith 34
I love you sir!! ...In a way that's not creepy and in no way disrespects your wife of course! Ok...so more of a strong admiration in the way that a protege would look up to his mentor and hero. ;)
0ops_i_died 8
I was waiting for you to say that the house plant fell on your head. This website is turning me into an asshole...
Kajol123 5
My poor throat hurts after reading this. *shudders*
Lexi_princess 3
Okay.........
Lexi_princess 3
Okay...........
loyeah 10
yes wow, op can i be the designer of your outfit? pleaaaaaaaase? *blink blink*
Leslier_fml 4
It must suck to be you right now
mrnuleef 7
Sorry that happened to you, but at least if its family comes down from that same plant for revenge, you know to swat first, gasp later.
timothyj2116 0
How can we not laugh at this? I know it's horrible but this is the first time I've heard of someone chocking on a spider lol. I agree, YLS lol