Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
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Top comments
username_anon 1
The trick to prevent this in the future is as follows: Get a cup (preferably clear) and put it over the spider/bug. Get a stiff piece of paper and slowly slide it under the cup until the spider/bug crawls onto the paper. Once the bug is on the center if the paper, pick up the paper and cup up (be careful not to leave any cracks between the cup and the piece of paper) and take it outside. The spider/bug will crawl off on its own without issue once you pick a spot outside and lift the cup. Using this method will prevent the spider/bug from jumping in the future :)
RyanT0425 4
Sounds like a jumping spider, they’re harmless and are just curious about humans. But I understand how you got freaked out lmao
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Comments (6)
ojosRojos 28
Thanks for confirming my nightmare - now I’ll never be able to “save” spiders lol
RyanT0425 4
Sounds like a jumping spider, they’re harmless and are just curious about humans. But I understand how you got freaked out lmao
RichardPencil 32
That's one hell of a boxing match! You are simultaneously the winner and loser by knockout. Too bad you didn't have video to share -- it would've been very popular on the web! Eight thumbs up.
Sinshine 28
Come on, it's just a tiny spider. Hope going to eat dozens in your life in your sleep without even noticing. All they do is keep flies away.
username_anon 1
The trick to prevent this in the future is as follows: Get a cup (preferably clear) and put it over the spider/bug. Get a stiff piece of paper and slowly slide it under the cup until the spider/bug crawls onto the paper. Once the bug is on the center if the paper, pick up the paper and cup up (be careful not to leave any cracks between the cup and the piece of paper) and take it outside. The spider/bug will crawl off on its own without issue once you pick a spot outside and lift the cup. Using this method will prevent the spider/bug from jumping in the future :)
Ksweety_fml 27
You're brave because I would've left that spider where was it at, and have somebody else kill it.