Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
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Top comments
beefstew_54 3
thats just awful. just....ugh **** that shit.. *shivers*
HowAreYouToday 34
Why the hell were you born?
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Comments (141)
captainburke 5
Man that's horrifying!!
bubo_fml 11
Did u soon start developing "spidey-senses?"
SamanthaCassieL 10
Oh my god. I have a terrible fear of spiders touching me. I would DIE. Good job at surviving. You did better then the spider at least!
medichick 5
Scarred for life..
KiddNYC1O 22
You'd play a good Venus Fly Trap.
SammySixx98 2
Aww your suppose to let it bite you not swallow it...you could have been SpiderWoman or SpiderMan2
worldclassrager 41
I always wonder what scares people about spiders...but one less spider the better....
etoilenuit 15
Oh god. This is my worst fear. Ever.
deemoe 5
Hahaha damn dat sucks
tjv3 10
Mmmm spider...DOH