By excusemeprincess - 11/02/2013 17:08 - United States - Middle Island

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 776
You deserved it 4 257

excusemeprincess tells us more.

I'm the person who posted this. I just forgot to log in. Anyway, I DID kick him in his deku nuts and walk out on him. Thanks for all your hilarious comments guys. :)

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Top comments

feel free to come to my place...

Wow. I feel like a cliche comment should go here. like. "I hope you dump him" or something along those lines. Because you really deserve better than that. Nobody should have to put up with some guy doing that kind of stuff.


feel free to come to my place...

iTsbSkuLLy 8

Thumb up from me. I thumbed down by mistake. Stupid App.

erockinthesuburb 17

Seems like on FML there are a lot of girls willing to dress up like sexy characters. Y U NO LIVE NEAR ME?!?!

Hell yeah!!! Mine too

MrBrightside21 20

27 - Oh the things I would do for a girl who dressed up like Princess Leia for me. Without me having to 'force' her. Cuz that's illegal and all.

tjv3 10

Damn OP that sucks and for him to be so careless to bring home a stripper who knows what kind of stds she could have. That's just sad I hate cheaters

Birthday threesome...

I don't suppose he suggested you both stay?

How dare you! She's a nice lady!!!

99) The Hangover reference! I officially love you =D

# 55, it is? Well, I'll have to excuse myself, for I have witnesses to take care of...

oops, nothing to see here. I wish I could delete comments. feel free to bury this.

Who WOULDN'T wanna dress up as sexy characters :D?!! I'm thinking the blue chick from Halo 4 or Misty from Pokemon haha :D

"The blue chick". She's like my one true love!


70, there's a big difference between hookers and strippers.

Wow. I feel like a cliche comment should go here. like. "I hope you dump him" or something along those lines. Because you really deserve better than that. Nobody should have to put up with some guy doing that kind of stuff.

It's very clear that OP's (hopefully) now ex-boyfriend had an awesome girlfriend and he was too stupid to even see it. OP, you're pretty much every guys' fantasy and a lot of girls' too!

ducki1989 4

I'm sorry that happened OP. Hopefully, he is now an EX-boyfriend.

Wishez 12


Wishez 12

Sorry for my comment, I thought 3's comment was on a different post and so what I commented originally was irrelevant to this one and sounded pretty stupid.

#3 thats the most generic thing to say

vadaaa 11

25- but I bet you have a thumbs up to darksoul09's comments.

vadaaa 11

Oops, gave*

Why not dress like princess Zelda?

(See time posted)

Your boyfriend has the Triforce of Douchebaggery. You should kick him in his little Deku nuts.

Looks like he'll be playing his own Ocarina for a while

Looks like he is going to put his Master Sword in the wrong pedestal this time.

Yea I guess he'll have to pull out the Master Sword on his own EDIT: Dammit ICastillo couldn't you have waited five minutes? D:

Sorry Pleonasm. But it was linked to the rest of the thread. I had to put it.

It appears his compass and map lead him to the wrong room.

And chest* ;)

I guess he decided to not listen to Navi, and took the wrong girl.

#102 who listens to Navi, she always says useless crap.

"HEY LISTEN, I see you're trying to make jokes here, try a triforce joke." "One was already made." "HEY LISTEN, try a triforce joke." Sometimes I really wished I could "accidentally" hit her with something.

androiddestroya 7

Did he pay her in rupees...?

Caruci 7

Lol I would if I could

Pay the whore with a Rupoor!

best.coment.ever. Well done!

Purple rupees for good time.

Classy whores get the yellow rupees

Op, I'm sorry your thoughtfulness wasn't returned in kind. I doubt from this one example you deserved that in the least. :(

Maybe she was a fairy he was planning to put in a jar for a rainy day.

BunchieRules 31

Or maybe she was a hooker... yeah, I'm going with the latter.

No imagination.

I'm imagining playing with those controls in that picture...

Sometimes, a hooker is just a hooker.

akimes94 5

Zelda and Link. The definition of friendzoned

Not Mario & Peach?

The nice thing about Link and Zelda's relationship is that you never know whether he's going to be friendzoning her, or the other way round.

67: Maybe it's part of being a total nerd, but I always wonder when Mario will just say "fuck it" and just stop rescuing the apparently witless princess. She needs a laser-fortified security system, and she really, REALLY needs to stop hiring those pussy-ass Toads to mind the castle premises (or at least give them some weapons). Furthermore, Mario needs to stop flying off and doing bullshit at the wrongest times ever. If Super Mario Bros. 2 has taught me anything, Peach can go adventuring WITH MARIO. Oh well.

TheElBurrrito 21

#100, Tell us how you really feel.

Give him the Ocarina of Dumpage.

She should look skyward, and not give him so much as a link to her past, as this is the twilight of their relationship. Though this one has diminished, a new one will wake in its place as soon as the sand in the hourglass has disappeared ... or so the oracle said.