By henley - 23/07/2012 01:33
Add a comment - Reply to : #
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
I feel bad for both. Not like she was expecting a proposal. She just didn't feel like going out. Kinda like a lazy day but in her words a "fat day". And he probably had big plans for the day but to throw the ring down on the floor and storm out like a 3 year old child seems uncalled for. I think what we learned today is to just chill out. There's always another day.
37, I agree with you patially. Unless it happened to cost a lot of money. If he had some "high end" pricey night planned then I can't blame the guy for freaking out. I had close tothe same senario happen to me three years ago and I'm not going to lie, its a sh!ty feeling when someone you plan on proposing to doesn't want to do anything and everyrhing you planned is non-refundable.
34- Thank you! My friend toured me a factory where they made and export theses masks. I bought one for ~ 50 cents :-) 35- Interesting point. I guess guys see things a little differently. I'm a little chubby and my gf is a perfect figure. She loves me a lot so I'm not worried about myself. The moment she would say to lose weight that's where I'll start fixing myself - not that I still don't want to but it's currently on lower priority than other things.
34, I disagree. The childish part of this is when she was willing to FIGHT about it because for one day she felt fat. Imagine how he felt: he had a night prepared to propose (that may have been non-refundable) and when he tried to get her to go out with him anyways, she started fighting with him about it because she felt a little insecure. And if she's only having a fat "day" then she's probably not heavy enough to justify it. (Fat people don't have fat days) I don't blame him for throwing the ring on the floor. He wanted to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him, and she was too busy thinking about how SHE might look. That was probably a huge blow to his ego, not to mention, a sign of who would control the marriage if she had said yes.
Hindsight is 20:20, people. It's easy to say what she should have now that we know he was going to propose. The nature of a proposal is that it is a surprise, so, of course, she would have NO IDEA. Furthermore, Who's to say she hasn't had "fat days" before and he's been fine with it. A lot of girls have "fat days", either because they just feel fat or because they're bloated from having their period. She had no way of knowing that it wasn't just a normal day.
#123 It was just a fat DAY. He could've planned it for any other time, informed her about their outting earlier (so she'd be ready and psyched for it), and I'm sure almost any woman would be happy just to get a proposal from someone they love so it really wouldn't matter what he did for it.
We could fight over who was more justified with hypotheticals all day if we really want. He's a couple for you. Maybe the BF spent the last 3 months getting everything fall into place to recreate their first date. Maybe on top of those 3 months he was also in the hole 2 grand making sure the restaurant had the same band, playing the same song, serving the same meal, at the same table, etc. Maybe this day was also very important to him, maybe OP doesn't realize that it was on THAT specific day she did SOMETHING that in his mind made him go, "That's the girl I wanna spend my life with."
158: She was feeling insecure, but instead of doing something to take her mind off of it (i.e: going out with her bf, who loves her) she wanted to pout and fight with him about how fat she felt that day. Being insecure is forgivable, but based on this FML the OP was just being childish.
They both could have handled it a bit better, but OP was the one who needs a reality check. A personal example: I was supposed to start my "girl time" in a few days & I felt really bloated & like hammered sh!t, when my Husband said he wanted to take me out that day. I told him how I felt, but he said it was important to him. You know what I did? I took a diuretic for the bloating, grabbed a few pain pills & got ready to leave. I took a little extra time with my make up & hair, so I could feel better & look good for him. I sucked it up, OP & you should have done the same. Sure, it would've been better if I'd felt perfect, but seeing how happy my Husband was that day & the giant smile on his face made up for it tenfold. HE should matter far more than your insecurities.
I'm sorry OP but you fucked up really bad.. I did the same thing to my GF with her surprise birthday (fancy restaurant, expensive gifts, I've even made a whole scenario with the restaurant staff and we've rehearsed it for about 2 weeks before the BD, believe me it wasn't cheap). So when she said she didn't want to go out because she "didn't feel like it", I freaked out and told her to dress the fuck up for a nice night out (she never suspected it was a surprise BD party. She still loves me for it 4 years later.
Well I don't understand why he couldnt of done it another day, but then again I've never planned to propose.. But I also hate how girls will look pretty and find something small thats wrong with them and complain about it..
106 - A "fat day" is just another term for a lazy day/insecurity day where a girl complains about the most minor shit that any good bf doesn't even think about when looking at their girl. My gf used to do it, but she knows I love the way she looks no matter what and she wouldn't blow off a date night just cause she might've felt like OP. It's not like she was sick or anything, as I'm sure if she was her bf wouldn't have been upset and spent the rest of the night taking care of her. True it was immature to throw the ring, but you've also got to understand what it takes for some guys to ask that one girl to spend the rest of their days with them. He had things planned and they crumbled because OP just wanted to bitch and moan about things her bf obviously doesn't even think about.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
Or a "fat day" can also mean that she was bloated, she was on her period, etc. "fat day" is the code I used with my boyfriend when it was starting to be that time of the month. Have you ever personally experienced how shitty a woman feels on the days before she starts her period? No? Okay then. So no, a fat day isn't a lazy pity party day in most cases. Inb4 "u must b on ur period right now"
157 - Just because that's how you say it to your bf, doesn't make it what everyone else says. Every girl I know, family, friends, people at work/school etc always say they're on their period, not something that doesn't make much sense in that context aside from a little bloating. Whenever I hear the phrase "I'm having a fat day", it's always referring to someone being lazy or groaning about themselves, as I'm sure most people can agree with me on that. Have I ever felt how a period feels? No, that's idiotic, but I know how it feels to be in a shit load of pain and ill for months on end, but I always feel bad that girls have to go through that every month. When my girl tells me she's on hers I know she's not doing well and if OP was on her period she should have just told him. The FML clearly states that she wasn't though, as any bf knows not to push their girl on their period, so that means she was just being insecure about herself to the one person who loves her for HER. 160 - You really need to quit trying to justify yourself. You're the reason why guys give up on trying to please a woman in a relationship and move on to someone better. You need a reality check, pronto.
It's amazing how most of these relationship FMLs could be solved by COMMUNICATION. Girls feel cruddy about themselves sometimes. When I'm on my period or just feel insecure, I put on some comfortable clothes, and I'm honest with my boyfriend about how I feel, and he always does his best that day/week to make me feel better, and I do my best so that he knows I appreciate that. I certainly don't take my insecurities/hormones out on him. People just don't get that a relationship is a partnership, and you have to work together.
#157, you and #160 are idiots. When I'm on my period, sure, it hurts, but I don't take it out on everybody and laze about. I get things done to take my mind off of it. If my boyfriend asked me to go out with him for the night, I wouldn't have let my stupid period get in the way. If I were in bad pain, I'd still suck it up and go. Being on your period doesn't give you the excuse to get so wrapped up in yourself that nobody else matters. You two piss me off, you make women seem so weak. It's a regular thing, if you can't suck it up and get used to it after having it every month or so, then you're pathetic. Take some damn pain pills or something if it hurts that bad. As several people have mentioned, a relationship is a partnership, you make sacrifices to make the other person happy. This guy probably spent a ton of money getting everything set up, or spent a lot of time working up the nerve to even ask her to go out for the night with him. Either way, he had to put a lot of effort into it. Plus, the FML makes it quite clear that this is not related to her being on her period, but rather her letting her own insecurities over her appearance get the better of herself. In the end, going out with him for the night would have been a good thing for her, whether he proposed or not. It would have taken her mind off of her insecurities, and she probably would have had fun. The proposal would have just made her feel even better about herself. Finally, to give up on a man because he can't understand your damn period pains is ridiculous. There are more painful things than a period. Enough said.
They make you mad because they won't 'deal with it'? Girls have experiences with periods! Just because you can get through the day normally doesn't mean others can. And as for the 'take some pills', that doesn't work for everyone. Midol and medication like that doesn't help me or my mother. Sometimes there are days it's hard to get out of bed even. I agree you need to compromise, but even if she had given in and went out she would not have had a nice time. I understand why the boyfriend could be upset if he had paid for a fancy restaurant but wouldn't the girlfriend be hesitant to refuse if she knew it costed a lot of money? Without more information I just can't choose whether it's a FYL or YDI.
Stop having such a low self-esteem... You missed out on possibly a great proposal because of it. You apparently are worth it, even if you feel fat.
"Stop having such a low self-esteem", oh, it's so easy to say, isn't it? "You're pretty, you're nice, your boyfriend loves you...lady, be happy with yourself!" If peoples minds only worked that way... I also feel sorry for the boyfriend, but I don't understand his reaction. He is her boyfriend, he must have known that OP sometimes has a fat day (didn't know that existed, though) and that she's a pain in the ass right then. Throwing the ring box on the floor is just so... cruel. Why didn't he change his plans, told OP how pretty, nice, lovely and not-fat she was, went on his knee and proposed to her, right there right now? Yeah, I know, it's easy to say 'you should have done...' when you're not the one who's in that situation, but still... starting a fight with your spouse because you want to propose to her... little paradox, isn't it.
I hate girls who are dead set against what their boyfriends say. shut the f**k up and accept a compliment. if I was a guy I'd find it so annoying if my girlfriend constantly said "no I'm not pretty, stop saying I am when I'm not" so what if you're having a fat day? put on something that makes you feel good and go out! it never does any good staying in and wallowing in self pity! if you think you're fat do something about it to prevent future fat days! you missed out and a proposal because of it! sorry if this sounded harsh but some people just need to be told.
26, The amount of effort and thought that went into that proposal would have been huge, and she just ruined it because she didn't feel like going anywhere. To a guy, this is a big deal. When it goes from a request to go out to a full on argument then she has crossed a line. Why would you let it get that far? It would sound pretty important to him that you both go out, so get off your fat ass and suck it up.
I wish I could thumbs this up more than once, really. I totally agree. I have never heard of a "fat day", and I hate how a lot of us girls are whiney about crap like that (myself NOT included), but he could've definitely rescheduled or come about the situation differently. Not his fault for being mad, but he didn't have to be, definitely not. Unless OP did something like this coincidently every time he was trying to pop the question....
Hopefully you guys can work it out. I mean, if he was going to propose to you, then he really does love you. So who cares if you feel fat next time. Your boyfriend finds you beautiful.
Fat day or not, your boyfriend clearly doesn't see it. He wants you for you, stop worrying so much.