By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 749
You deserved it 2 487

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Wouldn't you have to clean it off? It could easily contaminate other things or people causing health risks.

having fecal matter all over you is pretty disgusting ....regardless the job


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your not one to talk cuz your not in OPs position. so do us a favor and shut it

having fecal matter all over you is pretty disgusting ....regardless the job

I like how people try to be complicated by saying feces when they can say crap or shit, I'm so proud of my ignorance, I'm even arrogant and try to put down people who have a wider vocabulary than me.

That's really disrespectful. One day you may need a medic to save your life.

It's not part of his job to have crap splashed all over him. It's just a disgusting, unlucky side effect.

I like how the fml gods changed what I wrote

No one complains about a toothache until they have one :)

Guys don't be such paramedicks to each other. You don't know how 'hard' life can be when dealing with a bunch of 'stiffs'.

Not that I agree with the way disco2466 said it, but these things do come with the job. I once had a guys infected boil explode all over me on the way to the hospital. There was pus, maggots, and fruit flys in that thing. It got all over the back of the rig, we had to pullover that shit was so nasty. But u learn to laugh about those things and accept it as a very real part of the job.

I bet you complain when the men at the docks **** in your eye, but hey, I guess that's just part of your job hmm?

Paramedics are the true unsung heroes in the medical field

Well generally colonoscopy bags aren't supposed to explode, so it's not exactly part of the job.

I'm sorry, but where in my job description does it say that being covered in fecal matter was a part of my job?! I'd like to see you covered in it and still say that.

cariana 6

You suck it up and prepare for the worst.

23 - You're a sad excuse for a person then. I truely do hope I never have the misfortune of being graced by your god-awful presence.

redneckEMT21 2

93- Chester crozier burn center in PA dose that with severe burn Pts

blackheart24 10

23- you my friend, are a ******* idiot. Ignorance isn't exactly a good thing, and neither is a small vocabulary. You sound like a ******* dipshit man.

93 - Good thing pus is dead tissue then, isn't it?

mizz_tonia 0

Damn that sucks really bad :/

23- good for you. Nobody cares about you, you idiot

DivakiddOsz 5

He shat on you lol

Lizzy500 16

For Sevrandy: Just because the patient is alive does not mean the boil isn't full of dead tissue. Yes, you CAN have maggots on a live patient, if a portion of that patient is foul enough. Happens rather a lot, actually.

csickcman 11

Like shit it is!

krissynicoleEMT 2

It is however his job though anyone who works in ems knows your job is simply unexpectable I am a emt I know there's showers and shit in the building and always bring extra clothes

Well let's coat you in shit and tell you to go "do your job". Have a heart you fuckstick.

Obvious troll

ninjuh_wingman 29

Thats straight up nasty.

So2011 4

That must have been some stinky shit. You know what they say though, shit happens.

Omg, it's everywhere!!

Jakesterk96 8

You can even say it's a shitty situ....*gets shot in the face*.

TorturedXeno 27

*blows smoke away from end of barrel* Nice try.

Those colostomy bags get filled so big sometimes it's like Russian roulette is it full of shit or full of farts. You just lost at colostomy roulette.

Wouldn't that be a biohazard for your other patients??

121 I agree my brother has just had surgery and has to wear a colostomy bag temporarily. He has to empty it about 3-4 times a day and let the gas out occassionally. And when he empties it, it does really smell, mostly of egg. And it's like baby poo. So I can imagine how OP must feel. Just seeing it/smelling it isn't nice, but to be covered. Just bad luck I guess.

Don't you have spare clothes?

No he doesn't other wise it would not be an fml

Hey want to hear a funny joke?!??! You don't?!?! Well too damn bad!!! What did the paramedic say when he got covered in shit?!?!?? He said: "Fuck! I'm covered in shit!!!" *gets beat down with tomatoes as hook pulls his battered body off stage*

60- I think you'd be a better stick with being a Mime. The joke telling isn't your thing...

thenomad 7

I work in the medical field as well and that is exactly why I always have an extra set of scrubs with me every shift.

badass243 6

thats shitty

I think the correct phrase is, "shit happens."

Or maybe "Shit violently explodes"? I don't know though...

KiddNYC1O 20

You know what? I'm on redbluegreen's side on trying to boycott these puns.

I'm flattered.

Wouldn't you have to clean it off? It could easily contaminate other things or people causing health risks.

Yeah, get a coworker to cover you for 15 minutes while you change into clothing not covered in potentially pathogenic fecal bacteria.

I'm sure they did clean it off. But chances are they were too busy to be able to take a shower.

A job that forces you to work covered in shit is not legal. He would definitely be able to take a shower. Like someone said if it was serious bacteria that's grounds for a lawsuit if you're forced to work still. Shower

Lysol time

Hah! On an unrelated note: if you break down paramedic in Spanish it's, para(for) me(my) dic(immature inane attempt at humor). Isn't this fun!?!

I feel like I've seen you before iRL... Have we met?

If you're really broccoli, then yes. We have. In fact we've got quite a troubled past, my mother used to force me to consume you daily.

Why yes, I knew we've met before. Boy those winters have been tough on my growth cycle... I realize you look like the robo-mime who got into a karate fight at the Louvre in the movie Eurotrip. Nobody does the mime robot on your block! No sir!

bugmenotmofo 34

More like shower time.

It's peanut butter jelly time! It's peanut butter jelly time!

I feel like they would definitley let you disinfect yourself... Not like your going to be covered in shit for the next 5 hours haha. But yea f your life, that would not be pleasant

Yay for fecal matter!

Are you a toilet?

Ew, nobody deserves that..

Except Benito Mussolini. He deserved it.

Okay, let me rephrase that - Nobody decent deserves that.

Hey man, everyone knows paramedics are the shiz. You save lives (;


julialinn 2

Along with the rest of the people who work in the medical field.

I Agree!!!! U medical peeps r awsum!!!