Say it ain't so, please

By Kali - 13/10/2019 04:00

Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 864
You deserved it 380

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Honestly, breakups and proposals are both things that should generally be done in private. Obviously there are a few exceptions.

Mungolikecandy 19

I hate public proposals. They are essentially manipulative ways to force the other party to say yes. Kudos to you to saying no when you knew it was not the right thing for you to say yes.

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Honestly, breakups and proposals are both things that should generally be done in private. Obviously there are a few exceptions.

Completely agree. People who propose or breakup in public do so to either pressures the other into saying yes/not be overly emotional or want to make a spectacle of it. It should be done in private. No exceptions.

The only thing I'm blaming OP for was going out to a dinner and wanting to break it off. Why TF wouldn't you cancel the dinner and go somewhere where you wouldn't have to, I don't know, sit infront of each other for who knows how long in uncomfortable silence or awkwardness? The BF was a cunt, because marriage should never be a surprise. The only surprise is where/when the proposal happens.

You and him were no when near the same page. You owe him a sincere explanation. He proposed to the person he loves and she broke up with him. Clearly his day is worse than yours. It’s not about how you feel. It’s about what is right. Answer all his questions in a nice way.

I get what you’re saying, but it sounds like you’re blaming her. It’s not her fault from the sound of it. Losing interest isn’t usually anything anyone can help. Now, if he has red flags, or vice versa, that’s different.

Absolutely not. For the umpteenth time I swear I've posted over the years: Marriage should NOT be a surprise. You and your partner should have had talks about it, usually talks about a ring, your future, your home. The ONLY surprise is when or where they propose.

One wants to marry and the other wants to break up. Clearly from both sides there has been some miscommunication.

You are a monster. A normal person would cave in to peer pressure and accept. That's why people pull that dick move of the public proposal in the first place. Then, a few days later dump him in private and pawn the ring.

Mungolikecandy 19

I hate public proposals. They are essentially manipulative ways to force the other party to say yes. Kudos to you to saying no when you knew it was not the right thing for you to say yes.

Public breakups are also not that cool

Mungolikecandy 19

Everybody knows breakups should be done by text.

It’s always surprising to me how people can be so oblivious to how their relationship is going. Honestly, it is ususally men who goes ”whuuuut??? But everything has been going so well???” And meanwhile the woman has been trying to fix the issues a long time prior but just haven’t been listened to when trying to bring it up 🤷‍♀️ just my experience, along with a lot of other women around me

In my experience many women beat around the bush instead of being straight forward. Most guys will try to work on things if you say something like “I don’t think I can stay if things don’t change.”

Bullshit! If you have something important to communicate, and that person is not listening, then you make them listen. A deal breaker should be make loud and clear, not soft and I give up.

Not saying the proposal is your fault, but why would you accept a dinner invite when you knew you were gonna end it? Should have told him you guys needed to have a serious private talk.

Look at the crowd and say "We've been dating for a week...what the hell." Their opinion will shift to sympathy for you.

This is why I hate public proposals. The girl has the right to say no, but if she does, everyone looks at her like she's a huge bitch and feels sorry for the guy. Which, yes, it sucks for him too, but again, it's ultimately the girl's decision and no one else's.

He deserved it for proposing in public. That's just not cool.