By Kali - 13/10/2019 04:00

Say it ain't so, please

Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
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By  Mungolikecandy  |  18

I hate public proposals. They are essentially manipulative ways to force the other party to say yes. Kudos to you to saying no when you knew it was not the right thing for you to say yes.

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  B00K_L0V3R93  |  30

Completely agree. People who propose or breakup in public do so to either pressures the other into saying yes/not be overly emotional or want to make a spectacle of it. It should be done in private. No exceptions.

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  chyiochan  |  28

The only thing I'm blaming OP for was going out to a dinner and wanting to break it off. Why TF wouldn't you cancel the dinner and go somewhere where you wouldn't have to, I don't know, sit infront of each other for who knows how long in uncomfortable silence or awkwardness?

The BF was a cunt, because marriage should never be a surprise. The only surprise is where/when the proposal happens.

By  DogStew  |  17

You and him were no when near the same page. You owe him a sincere explanation.
He proposed to the person he loves and she broke up with him. Clearly his day is worse than yours. It’s not about how you feel. It’s about what is right. Answer all his questions in a nice way.

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  Alup132  |  22

I get what you’re saying, but it sounds like you’re blaming her. It’s not her fault from the sound of it. Losing interest isn’t usually anything anyone can help. Now, if he has red flags, or vice versa, that’s different.

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  chyiochan  |  28

Absolutely not. For the umpteenth time I swear I've posted over the years:

Marriage should NOT be a surprise. You and your partner should have had talks about it, usually talks about a ring, your future, your home. The ONLY surprise is when or where they propose.

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  goodernme  |  16

I don’t agree. I was on my way to propose to my wife and so called my late dad to tell him. He asked me if I was sure and what if she said “no”. I was completely taken aback. Although we never discussed it, we both knew where we were headed and her saying no hadn’t even occurred to me, I knew before I even asked that the answer was yes.

The point is: you should know. If there’s a chance that your GF will say no, then you’re obviously not on the same page and you need to get there before you even think about proposing. As he was the one asking, he should have read the situation better. It’s not the OPs fault at all. In fact, it’s extremely brave to go against what is expected when she’s been railroaded like that.

By  RichardPencil  |  27

You are a monster. A normal person would cave in to peer pressure and accept. That's why people pull that dick move of the public proposal in the first place.

Then, a few days later dump him in private and pawn the ring.

By  Mungolikecandy  |  18

I hate public proposals. They are essentially manipulative ways to force the other party to say yes. Kudos to you to saying no when you knew it was not the right thing for you to say yes.

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  Mungolikecandy  |  18

Everybody knows breakups should be done by text.

By  Laurea Lindroos  |  8

It’s always surprising to me how people can be so oblivious to how their relationship is going. Honestly, it is ususally men who goes ”whuuuut??? But everything has been going so well???” And meanwhile the woman has been trying to fix the issues a long time prior but just haven’t been listened to when trying to bring it up 🤷‍♀️ just my experience, along with a lot of other women around me

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  julfunky  |  28

In my experience many women beat around the bush instead of being straight forward. Most guys will try to work on things if you say something like “I don’t think I can stay if things don’t change.”

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  DogStew  |  17

Bullshit! If you have something important to communicate, and that person is not listening, then you make them listen. A deal breaker should be make loud and clear, not soft and I give up.

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  goodernme  |  16

I totally agree. I’d had a few serious girlfriends before I met my wife, but there came a point where I knew that it was over (or would be soon).

My wife and I dated for 5 months before I proposed and my late dad asked me: “what if she says no”? My response was: “What? Of course she won’t say no”. That was almost 17 years ago and we’re still going strong.

By  Traveling_Book  |  9

Not saying the proposal is your fault, but why would you accept a dinner invite when you knew you were gonna end it? Should have told him you guys needed to have a serious private talk.