By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 05:28 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 670
You deserved it 11 622

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At 10 months, I'm surprised he proposed. Of course it depends on what your age is. He's stupid for going through with the proposal even though you clearly said you aren't ready. And it's sad grandma is disappointed, but honestly, it's not her relationship. She should stay out of it.

Trying to pressure you into marring him? That's not cool.

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At 10 months, I'm surprised he proposed. Of course it depends on what your age is. He's stupid for going through with the proposal even though you clearly said you aren't ready. And it's sad grandma is disappointed, but honestly, it's not her relationship. She should stay out of it.

The grandma likely just wants to see OP married before she passes and was feeling emotional that she might not get that chance since she turned down this scumbag of a boyfriend

Maybe you should have distracted everyone with a food fight. Grandparents love food fights. Then later they would have been talking about how well the potato salad makes a great projectile, instead of how saw it was when grandma cried.

ViviMage 38

My sister was proposed to in 3 months of dating. It didn't work out. And it may be the boyfriend thought he was gonna lose her if she was not ready to commit.

Nope. Pretty sure ops boyfriend told her grandma to cry as a last resort. I dont put anything past the elderly anymore. This is probably after she scammed the grocery shopper.

I have to feel tone played a big role in this FML by making the boyfriend think OP was joking. Maybe she was just not as clear as she thought she was as well. Either way, I feel like this is a loss for everyone. Fuck all your lives?

If you people aint rich why are you getting married. Yall just gonna work all life and have ugly babies.

the people with those baby problems are usually the unmarried ones. the ones who are sensible enough to legitimately commit to each other, have more restraint and luck on not having unwanted children

@94 - He responded to a moderated comment.

1 - I don't think the boyfriend is stupid. I think he thought that OP would say yes just because it was in front of her family and friends and wouldn't want to embarrass him/ and or make her grandma sad. If he really is stupid enough to think OP was just joking then he fucking deserves it. I hope he feels just as bad about the situation as OP does.

OP, your boyfriend sounds like he just proposed at your grandma's birthday just so you'd be "forced" to say yes to not upset your grandma. Although that may not be the case, it sounds like it. I'm glad you said no. Don't be pressured into something you don't want.

Trying to pressure you into marring him? That's not cool.

@2 marrying*

Ian, just... no.

Oh, no! He wanted her to hurt him? She should have

Well, maybe at her 86th birthday party.

If at first you don't succeed, then beat the idea to death.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

The question is, would you want to be with someone, for the rest of your life, who doesn't even listen or remembers such an important thing? Or even worse, heard and remembers and still doesn't really care?

Exactly. He's incredibly selfish and possibly a narc. Narcs are incapable of love.

I think he did listen. He just doesn't want to marry OP and felt pretty safe in proposing, knowing she would say no. Now she's the "bad guy" while he showed his commitment in front of her entire family. It's pretty smart if you ask me. Everyone will be very sympathetic to him, not so much to OP.

Yeah - that's not smart, it's malignant narc behavior. It's just nasty.

#29 If that's indeed the case, then he is an even bigger scumbag! D:

Every time you said narc I thought you meant someone who rats on their drug dealers. Now I understand that you mean narcissist.

Jemm- Do you mean sociopath? You said narcissists can't love, but a narcissist is just someone really in love with themself. A sociopath is a person that is incapable of love and caring for other people. I am honestly confused by all of your comments on which one you mean.

No, sociopaths are slightly different. Um see it this way - all sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths. The inability to love someone stems from NPD. Narcissists don't love themselves at all so overcompensate by a grandoise approach to life.

But the meaning of Narcissist comes from the greek myth that Narcissa saw himself in a lake and fell so in love with his reflection that he never left and died. Calling someone a narcissist is just saying they're in love with themself. I have never heard of the definition that you are talking about, so I am honestly asking.

I just looked up NPD and read symptoms from multiple places, and no place said that they can't love, but they experience it less. It pretty much sums up that they are extremly egotistical and think people envy them, but it can't always be taken as a diagnosis because the definition is too broad. Is this what you're talking about? (and I'm not trying to argue. I don't want you to think that. Just wanna learn)

Mads_1234 28

My family is full of narcissists. They love themselves and see themselves as the perfect person. My own mother tried to make me just like her because she thought she was perfect. Narcissists have twisted ideals of love.

The term narcissist gets thrown around to describe someone who mostly have a bigger ego than the rest of us. It doesn't mean they're technically a narcissist. Kind of like when someone has a mood swing, you say they're bipolar when they're not. Just a word that's become overused to describe an egomaniac.

Liberace is the only true modern narcissist I've heard of. He convinced his lover to get plastic surgery to look like him--Liberace. THAT is narcissism. OP's boyfriend is just an ass.

Why the hell would he do that? He's an idiot. Sorry that granny cried because of it.

Well at leaast he has family approval of some sort, even if he is an idiot who can't understand the meaniing of the word 'No.'

He completely ignored what you said, put pressure on you at a big event, and made you feel bad after your grandma started crying. What a jerk. FYL OP :(

My thoughts exactly

10 months isn't that long, don't feel bad OP

You should have said "yes" to please your grandma and the crowd, and then shit-can the idea quietly a week or two later. The old bird probably would have forgotten it by then.

They also make Forget-Me-Nows for awkward situations like this.

#13, for situations like what?

#21, bad proposals, walking in on one's parents doing the naughty deed, sleeping with a "cougar," and telling the world how to do an illusion and getting kicked out of The Alliance of Magicians.

What an ass. I'd be 100% sure my girlfriend wanted to before I put her on the spot like that in public.

I bet he's a narcissist. It's her grandmother's 85th birthday party and he proposed to her, knowing the result, to get attention and pity. AND he ruined the poor lady's day. Exactly what someone eith NPD would do.

#27-It seems to me, you either learned a new word or just really love the word narcissist. You've used it 4 times in 3 comments in a very short amount of time.

Haha Jemm I don't know you and this is crazy... But we have so dated the same people. Yup.

^Hah! There we go. Finally someone truly gets what the real story is behind this bizzare type of person.

K lee. yup. it strikes a nerve. It's an old and horrific word to me. I actually hope you never encounter one so you won't understand why I used it so much.

Encountering one person with a mental disorder does not suddenly make more people have the disorder. By that logic, I would be walking around telling people how they have Dissociative Identity Disorder every time someone couldn't remember something they did in the past or acted different from their usual self. There's more than one reason for an action. The boyfriend could be narcissistic. He could be a sociopath. He could have Dissociative Identity Disorder. He could have some sort of amnesia. However, it is most likely that he is just a jerk and/or still in a state of immaturity.