Miscellaneous: Today, during an endless heat wave, I sat at my local pub having...

By Really? - 31/12/2016 01:54 - Australia - Homebush

Today, during an endless heat wave, I sat at my local pub having a beer. I was delighted as a cool sea breeze started to come through. I was less delighted when the sea breeze picked up and blew cigarette ash onto my sweaty face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 549

You deserved it 1 153

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Same thing different taste

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 60 268

By RingofFire - 03/06/2016 23:23 - United States - Edenville

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 285

You deserved it 1 745

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 71 588

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By ThatsNotRight - 31/01/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 901

You deserved it 31 055

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 187

You deserved it 5 315

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By layout - 05/06/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 893

You deserved it 4 067

By NotJoeyEssex - 26/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was so lonely and bored, I thought about making the most of our current heatwave by giving myself heatstroke, just so I could talk to a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 1 143

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 45 085

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 2 January 2017 17:58

Could've =could have (not could of)

TheBastarDino 2

Sunday 1 January 2017 0:34

Its been high 30s for the last 2 weeks where i live you get sick of it quick. I live in South Australia.

Comments

bruhhhhhhh 14

Saturday 31 December 2016 6:30

What an ash hole... no? Ok you're right that was terrible

The_Sexomancer 11

Saturday 31 December 2016 7:10

Eh, it wasn't great. I don't mind a bad joke here and there. It's the overdone bad jokes that get to me.

Tripartita 44

Saturday 31 December 2016 7:02

The butterfly effect is called to mind—owing its name to the notion that the characteristics of a hurricane can be influenced by the tiniest atmospheric perturbations (like butterflies flapping their wings) weeks earlier. It extends to other meteorological phenomena besides hurricanes. I guess I'm trying to say that you should kill as many butterflies as possible to keep ash off of your face.

brenton490 19

Saturday 31 December 2016 7:10

Could of been worse...and ended up in your beer!

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 2 January 2017 17:58

Could've =could have (not could of)

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 31 December 2016 7:27

I've heard of the dangers of second-hand smoke, but I've never heard of second-hand ash. Ok, I have heard of second-hand ash, but I thought that person had a speech impediment and was talking about sloppy seconds.

jessicasoho 13

Saturday 31 December 2016 7:52

It's minus 12 C here. I wish that was me. So cold.

LatterDaySaint 12

Saturday 31 December 2016 8:55

Colder is better, because you can always put on more than you can take off. Besides people tend to complain when your down to your skin in public. :P

somelildude 14

Saturday 31 December 2016 9:10

That's true , but also when it's colder people are most exposed to getting sick. I know no one enjoys getting sick. I personally hate the cold because it's kills the drive to do anything outside if your not use to it.

TheBastarDino 2

Sunday 1 January 2017 0:34

Its been high 30s for the last 2 weeks where i live you get sick of it quick. I live in South Australia.

species4872 19

Saturday 31 December 2016 19:25

Interesting, since you cannot smoke in pubs, clubs, hell everywhere indoors in New South Wales.

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 1 January 2017 1:41

sea breezes don't tend to be indoors...sooo...

LonelyAngel22 13

Sunday 1 January 2017 6:11

If its a pub with an outdoor area, then you can smoke. The "sea breeze" indicated OP was outdoors, like in a beer garden or on a balcony. My local pub has a smoking area out the front.