Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
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Comments (242)
mr_sarcastic416 29
Did you spit or swallow?
mrsstimmer 13
came here for this :D
Pleonasm 36
Yea and look at the mess you've made!
ManicGypsy 22
Yep, I was going to ask this if nobody else had.
JosieRose3 7
The question of the century.
shemademedoit 20
oh Lord
NYCFML123 0
That word "heterosexual." You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
crazycly 7
As you wish! Haha
VeganVampyre 27
Inconceivable!
ometzit 4
Always a pleasure.
pmullenix 5
the way I see it is, you never know of you like something until you try it. Do what you do!!
Florentina 17
Sexuality is fluid! There's nothing wrong with experimenting (even if that wasn't your first intention)
esamolwan 18
are you saying there's a second time?
doemetoch 28
If getting drunk made you feel free enough to experiment and enjoy yourself in new ways, then great. If, however, drunk you tends to do things that you genuinely feel bad about, and would absolutely never consent to when sober, you might want to reconsider your drinking habits.
tchopper1969 16
you can no longer call yourself straight, your bi dumb ass now
DoomedGemini 38
Experimenting doesn't make you something. Being attracted to men AND women makes you bisexual. Plenty of heterosexuals AND homosexuals experiment with the other gender before realizing who they are.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
It's okay, we've all done it.
gracehi 33
No. No we haven't.
Pleonasm 36
Who knows what goes on during a blackout? Maybe we all secretly have.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
The humour goes right over your heads. -sigh- (Disclaimer is apparently required; no, we have not all done it, I'm fully aware-.-)
leogachi 15
Your joke wasn't funny. That's why everyone thought you were serious.