Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
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Top comments
By
DonkeyTeeth2013
| 22
His priorities are straight.
By
jad0016
| 12
Haha well Doritos are pretty damn good
COMMENTS
By
DonkeyTeeth2013
| 22
His priorities are straight.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
His sexuality probably isn't.
Reply
colby6666
| 42
But is he?
Reply
_parth
| 20
This should be Doritos Ad.
Reply
colby6666
| 42
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
TheAbstract
| 15
Just because he's married doesn't mean he's straight..
Reply
fortune789
| 17
My dad is a perfect example of that.
Reply
binaryplatypus
| 4
I'd say his priorities weren't exactly straight. What is the sexual preference for chips?
Reply
Mobius638
| 8
There's not one they're just really good.
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
#118, the preference might have been cool ranch.
By
jad0016
| 12
Haha well Doritos are pretty damn good
Reply
Kamon97
| 23
Especially cool ranch :o
Reply
rachangie
| 19
Nacho all the way! Gotta love the classics! As good as they are though I don't know if I would choose them over sex...mostly because you can always just eat them after sex and everything tastes better after!:)
Reply
drivingmissdaisy
| 13
So true @32
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gotaplanstan
| 28
or best of both worlds, eat them WHILE having sex ^^
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TheAbstract
| 15
And both types of chips too. like a combo-ception of some sexually delicious sort.
Reply
A07
| 48
#46 I agree, but then why does my girlfriend get mad everytime I do?
Reply
MisterEx
| 28
#76 - because most of us men don't know how to multitask. So your performance in bed is not as good while eating Doritos. A plot twist to #46's idea would be suggesting to have sex WITH Doritos. Trust me i know. I am a random Internet user.
Reply
Chibi_Kitten
| 24
My thoughts exactly! Why compromise?
By
alice_18
| 16
Apparently men appreciate food more than sex
Reply
Pesticides
| 19
Or maybe he meant no way as in how good his day has turned out...
Reply
ShowMeKay
| 20
#23 I don't think it'd be an FML if that's how he meant it.
Reply
mottos
| 13
Yeah
Reply
Pussycat86
| 18
#39 actually there is an ad for Doritos with the same concept, only in the ad it helps the person get laid it's on YouTube and name is banned Doritos commercial
Reply
BoltTheSuperdog
| 22
#53 That's the one where the woman is in bed wearing only Doritos, right?
Reply
Chibi_Kitten
| 24
...why does this make me want to try dressing up as food to test this out?
By
thatchick1405
| 17
Doritos always win ._.
Reply
sweetest_jenn
| 18
One simply does not try to come in between a man and his Doritos.
Reply
sunnyray812
| 42
This FML should really be a Doritos commercial.
Reply
thatchick1405
| 17
#83 I agree
Reply
Life_is_FML
| 22
I feel like if you filmed this fml, and added the Doritos' slogan at the end, it could be a commercial
By
Incognito_1924
| 17
How does it feel to have gotten cock-blocked by a bag of chips?
Reply
_parth
| 20
The guy must feel pretty damn good
Reply
colby6666
| 42
Chip-blocked?
Reply
cakefete2
| 30
The Doritos told OP, "He's nacho man tonight. He's mine."
Reply
gotaplanstan
| 28
cock blocked? more like clam blocked
By
Greg1986
| 13
The way to a man's heart is through his... stomach...
Reply
dragonkisses28
| 25
Yes...through his stomach and out his chest.
By
immortalhmars
| 14
Make lingerie out of Doritos
Reply
cakefete2
| 30
You do that, and a couple things might get eaten tonight.
Reply
TheAbstract
| 15
I can only imagine Austin Powers saying, "ahhhh thank you" after reading that comment.
By
IllestRated
| 17
He likes the living room so much, let him sleep there tonight.
Reply
PinkieKeen
| 20
wtf? how does him not wanting to have sex right then and there dignify a punishment?
Reply
misspaperwait
| 4
It's not the refusal of sex that got him in the dog house it's the way he did it. Rather than making a point of basically saying junk food is more important than your needs he could have just said "you know babe I'm not really in mood" or something. If he's going to act like a dick he kinda deserves to spend a night on the couch.
Reply
ao9s7yashdun
| 7
Punishment like that isn't productive. It's not like her husband is an infant child who needs negative reinforcement.
Reply
IKickPuppiesHard
| 16
I'll be damned if someone told me to sleep on the couch in a house I'm paying for.
By
JustinCredible42
| 12
(Insert I hope you mean ex comment here)
Reply
quiet_storm09
| 17
How does "I don't wanna have sex" warrant a divorce...
Reply
silvercamaro
| 22
He's not actually saying they should divorce #34, just that on 99% of FML's involving couples, that comment will come up.
By
sexual_girl
| 15
Normally I would suggest combining food with sex (e.g., have him eat it off your body), but I'm not sure how well that would work with Doritos... Better luck next time OP.
Reply
MandyMeow_fml
| 18
There would be so many crumbs...
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kingdomgirl94
| 28
Crumbs in every er... nook and cranny.
Reply
tesslaar
| 17
Or crumbs in every nook and fanny?
Reply
dreamweaver1227
| 11
Just lick the crumbs off. Gain more arousal points. ;)