Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
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Comments (242)
MeltedMango 8
Still a better love story than Twilight.
RealSuperSand 21
I've gotten so drunk before I couldn't even remember my own name, and I've never once blown or even had the urge to blow another guy, and I wouldn't even classify myself as 100% straight, I don't think anyone is really, especially not you op, not after last night anyway. Nothing wrong with it though man, the gay and bisexual community is awesome. Hell if you're bisexual it only doubles your chances of getting laid!
sjhill 32
"Hold my beer"
Clinky92 18
Y'know what they say, alcohol brings out your true self haha
thedood 8
I have bad news for you.
Anonypus 20
Are you 100% sure you were blind drunk?
mattrd_fml 31
alcohol = truth elixir
vikky538 29
How did you not figure out the difference between a ****** and a dick? I never seen a person blind drunk to be not able to distinguish peoples gender.
mishwarner 14
You are not
emi_alejandra 23
More like a 60% now