Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (242)
Jacksparrow72 21
Not anymore
sstahpp 33
No. You're not.
91hayek 31
lol using percentages for sexuality. It's more colours and shades than strict numbers.
JustinJK 21
50 shades
Flyndaran 10
There are few absolutes about human sexuality in general. But most of us can be described in only a few words like 100% heterosexual, though I doubt OP is really that. Unless he has alcohol problems and does wildly out of character things when drunk.
sstahpp 33
I'm at least 40% not gay
Destinee_1 13
Well you know when you are drunk you show your true feelings and have no shame. So it has to be something you've thought about subconsciously.
russfml 31
So what happened? you drunkenly, blindly fell on some guy, mouth on dick and figured hell your drunk may as well finish? I mean I've been blind drunk and that never happened lol
gintwinsmoore 20
well, not anymore...LOL
DjeePee 25
100% heterosexual? You know, that's what many people think they are, because it's so much easier and socially accepted than saying you're not quite sure. India still needs his sexual revolution, so I totally get why you would think this way. But you're not 100% hetero, and that's okay. Perhaps drunk you was more honest with himself than your sober version.
leogachi 15
I wouldn't worry about it, Op. In my experience, it's really easy to convince drunk people to do things they wouldn't normally do. And hey, even if it turns out that you are into guys, does it really matter?
LadyAthena 20
Actually studies have shown that drunk people do not vary their behavior wildly while drunk. For example if you wouldn't kick a dog sober you won't do it drunk. But if you would consider suck a dick sober you will consider and possibly attempt it drunk. OPs inhibitions were down due to the alcohol but he had to of at least thought about doing it before
leogachi 15
I'm not saying that he hasn't thought of doing something like that while sober, I'm just saying that I'm not going to judge his sexuality based on one drunken story. Haven't you heard those stories about people who beat the shit out of bushes when they're drunk?
leogachi 15
I can't imagine they would consider beating the shit out of bushes when they're sober. (Sorry about the multi comment. I ran out of room.)
chikinscratch00 8
Why would you even post that lol
Miss_Moody23 19
For better reason than why you commented.
smc3107 9
I'm pretty sure there are still a couple things that are extremely taboo, even on FML.
knight2109 12
Well I wouldn't say 100% anymore. Math is absolute.