Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I was in the changing room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
manb91gb 15
You probably wouldn't have been picked if you hadn't been acting like a child about it.. You were chosen so it would help you grow up
7and7is 20
At 80 he can still hit the wall, that’s admirable.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (11)
7and7is 20
At 80 he can still hit the wall, that’s admirable.
mfranks19891989 10
Yea I wouldn’t have told my boss no to cleaning that up.
manb91gb 15
And you would have been fired
mfranks19891989 10
And I would be fine with that I wouldn’t clean up someone else’s sperm
manb91gb 15
You probably wouldn't have been picked if you hadn't been acting like a child about it.. You were chosen so it would help you grow up
bl3ur0z3 17
Once, my 2 week old baby projectile pooped. All over the wall on the other side of the room. It was impressive and my dad found it hilarious. I let him clean up after his grandson.
Ksweety_fml 27
ouuuu, karma!
4EverMarie 24
YDI for thinking that being a disgusting perv is funny
BurnInDemonFire 39
Karma; it's not just a chameleon.
E2dav 5
A disgusting pervert isn't funny. He's probs an old predator. Yuck.
checamuk 7
Surely they should summon a biohazard team. If that happened to me I'd be resigning on the spot. Otherwise I'd be adding projectile vomit to the spunky wall decoration.