By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 034
You deserved it 3 256

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NoahStaz 3

That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.

AwkwardHaole808 16

Dump his ass and find someone better.


Probably means you've got to step it up.

sunnyt 5

She doesn't need to step it up. If I were OP, I'd stomp the living daylights out of him. Just an idea though.

Guys, When somebody is drunk, they aren't thinking straight. The boyfriend probably just wasn't thinking and accidentally said blonde instead of brunette.

That is a possibility, or maybe he is simply too drunk to distinguish a blond from brunette.. But then again, he could be cheating on you

starman02 12

When somebody is drunk and starts talking crap it is usually.. Drunk words = sober thoughts! ... OP needs a new boyfriend..

It's not like that in all cases.. Maybe sometimes but sometimes they really are so drunk they have no idea what they're even talking about.. He could have even been talking about a fantasy but didn't realize it was just a fantasy cause he was drunk.. Just an example but there's nothing wrong with fantasies lol

I think #1's comment was a joke. There's no need to take it so seriously.

I agree with 71. This site has become way too serious!!

Hell if he was drunk he could have easily said ginger

67, I think your really reaching with that theory.

Like I said its just an example but you know it is a possibility :)

Keliosan 6

58- I've hardly ever found that to be true...alcohol isn't a magic truth potion but you do lose alot of your impulse control, which would lead to stupid actions/saying the first thing that pops in your head. While in some cases that may lead to your true feelings on a subject it's more likely to just be something stupid or poorly thought out.

I thought he was just calling her hair blonde too from being drunk. Does Op indeed give great ********? if so then this is understandable. If not then her bf is cheating. Also, Op should know where her bf is most of the time. Wouldn't she hang with him all the time because she loves him?

"Drunken words are sober thoughts." ...Or some shit like that. Point is, OP should probably look into it. Edit: Fuck, someone beat me to it. Oh well.

Op should step it up. I think it calls for anal. Op, buy a strap on.

Dallasluver19 14

Well he's probably cheating. The truth comes out when your drunk. And OP is a brunette. And he said blonde.

Maybe She should check what color her moms hair is.....

People always get their stories confused when drunk...why are you all reading so heavily into this? It seems pretty likely he said the wrong word and was talking about her, especially since he referenced the word girlfriend.

Why so serious??

You could still kinda see the difference between blonde and brunette if someones color blind

I wasn't being serious, jeez! -__-

AwkwardHaole808 16

Dump his ass and find someone better.

Ohh.... apparently my fisrt comment implied racism. Bury me and hide my shame.

Did nobody consider that he was lying and making stuff up to try and get people to like him? It'd still be an unfavorable scenario, but at least he isn't cheating.

He probably thinks you're black too.

Because he's color blind apparently; no subliminal racism here.

keven501 12

Maybe become a blonde?

sunnyt 5

Because becoming blonde will definitely solve the problem.

That's the biggest problem to be addressed here, of course

That would seem like an Overly Attached Girlfriend move. "You were drunk and you said you like blondes. You like?"

NoahStaz 3

That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.

Saying his father is bigger would be just weird I think, especially if this couple is in their teens...

NoahStaz 3

I added father because there are no guarantees he has a brother, and hearing that about your father will shut most people up, drunk or not.

What if OP's boyfriend don't have Father and Brother then what?

Zoh_Aubrey 8

Then his sister or pet gerbil--anything.

dougiewhale 6

Or his best friend?

Thats when he corrects his momentary drunken brain fart, and dumps you on the spot for saying you ****** his father, at which point everyone views you as a dirty **** because you outed yourself at a party. What could possibly go wrong?

He's drunk. Lots of people don't say coherent things when they're intoxicated. If I were you, I'd take it with a grain of salt. But still keep a watchful eye.

I'm pretty sure you say what you normally wouldn't when you're drunk.

sunnyt 5

He may be drunk but it's still sober thoughts. It's not like being drunk will make you colorblind, he knew what he was saying.

beccaishereyay 11

36- I don't know if you've even been drunk before... But i do not have sober thoughts when I'm drunk and say ALOT of things I really don't mean.

AllyyK 9

#36 He obviously didn't know what he was saying.

I was told once that the truth comes from children and drunks. Many confess things they normally and sober wouldnt when they drink.

Briiyahh 7

You actually speak the truth when your drunk...

#28, Right. Sober, you wouldn't brag about your other -- blonde -- girlfriend.

I don't know what any of you are talking about. Being drunk doesn't make you say things that are true it just makes you say stupid incoherent things that pop into your head. With some people, such as myself, it even makes you lie more because it lowers your inhibitions and people's reservations about the lasting consequences from lies which are often what keep us from lying in the first place.

It really just depends on the person and how much alcohol they've had, some people at some times will talk about nonsense and others at other times will say what they're thinking even if it's something they want to hide.

You never ever assume a drunken person is admitting to something because of a trivial one word slip up like this. You need more information to make sure it wasn't his incoherent thoughts making an appearance. Do none of you people drink?

Oh, alcohol...

alcohol cause no good story ever started with salad .

14- That's just not true. I was actually eating a salad one day when an armed robber busted into the bistro. Needless to say, I roundhouse kicked him through 3 walls and an electic fence. I ended up winning a Purple Heart, despite my insistence that the President was handing me the wrong award, and proceeded to have sex with 3 Brazilian beach volleyball players at once. See kids, if you eat your salad you could be just like me!

That is an award winning story. However once I was eating salad and then a rouge assassin burst through my window and fired three rounds of machine gun ammunition into my prized painting. I killed him, but I still mourn for my artwork daily. Salad will not always help you kids.

WearingHats 14

I think you mean rogue.

I think I don't give a **** bwahahahahahaha!

The moral of the story: If you eat too much salad you're going to end up in violent confrontational situations. So if you value your personal safety, stick to junk food. Saving lives, one heart attack at a time.

vaughant 5

Daanngg that's horrible I'm sorryy

Duck lips... I found a duck fellas.

sunnyt 5

23- Is it hunting season yet? Time to pull out my hunting gear..

Oh you're a human?! You should've told me that before I shot you.. Crap.. Now I gotta get rid of your body.

29- isn't your pic on the right also using duck lips...?

She changed her picture....I swear I'm not crazy.

AllyyK 9

Ugh I hate when peopleeee typee likkee thissss, It's really annoying and unnecessary. Also I HOPE your picture is a joke, if not then.. just stop. Duck faces are the worst.

AllyyK 9

#56 I saw it. She probably changed it after she saw your comment and realized she was a hypocrite maybe? She did change her picture to a duck though..

She's probably just trying to be funny guys.. Hence the picture of a duck?

vaughant 5

Why do y'all have to be so mean to me I didn't do anything but make a funny face in a picture

vaughant 5

I'm not a hypocrite & I never changed my picture I just got on y'all quit being mean its not funny you can really hurt people's feelings who cares if my pic Is a duck face & can people somehow hack your account & change your pic & status?? cause then that's what happened I'm never on here & I barely ever post comments y'all stop bein so mean

They were talking about 29- sunnyt

vaughant 5

Ohhh alright I gotchaa my bad but still I honestly don't care about the duck season stuff but don't call me a hypocrite & act like its killing to you read my comment cause I put a few extra letters than needed at the end of a word

practice with other guys.

AllyyK 9

So you're saying she should pretty much be a ***** now? Yea that's a great idea! That would resolve everything! -_-

Well it would definitely solve the problem of having a boyfriend.

AllyyK, there is a thing in this world called a "joke". Perhaps you are not familiar with it, but it's what #10 just made.

AllyyK 9

#55 Ya, no shit. The apparent "joke" wasn't funny, so I actually don't consider it as a joke. There is also something in this world called "sarcasm", maybe you've never heard of that? Good one though, saying I'm not familiar with jokes because I didn't think said "joke" was funny, when you can't even take a joke yourself.

Sarcasm isn't a joke, it's just sarcasm which some people consider rude actually. Seems like someone has a stick up their ass today:)

AllyyK 9

Hahahahaha! Wow how sad. I haven't even started to be rude yet. If people actually find sarcasm rude then they shouldn't be on this website at all, and I would think that little girls like you who go around telling people they have a stick up their ass is the rude thing here. By the way, sarcasm could be considered a joke, just like you would be considered a joke too :) Your attempt to "insult" me did make me laugh though, so thanks for that! So if you think I have a stick up my ass then go right ahead and think that, because I'm really just a bitch when it comes to high school girls like you and I reeeally don't care what sad little girls think :) Thumb me down ;)

I don't know you so I could care less what you think of me but I guess while we're at it:) You look like your at least my age or younger to me so if your trying to sound older than you really are than you fail. And I was simply commenting on the fact that instead of commenting on the FML all your doing is being a bitch to people and it seems like maybe you need a nap or something. And honestly I could care less about insulting you and if your so vain to think so then your the joke:) Oh and I'm no where near sad honey :)

And if you are as old as you say you are maybe you should grow up already:)

Well, we all can be certain you're a bitch, Allyyk. Good job! Way to be the asshole on the site!