Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Same thing different taste
Boozehound
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Hair of the dog
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
How very dare you?
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Glass houses and all that
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML
Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Yelling Douchebags Incorporated.
philtheawesome 0
what about for the last few weeks? I thought Friday was every week...
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Comments (419)
damienms 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your a complete dumb ass for even doing it. Idea
Keyman1212 14
Tell your mom it's fermented water. Problem solved! Jk, you're ******.
coolp3rson 0
it's Friday Friday gonna get busted on Friday.
jakezanerd 0
what does ydi mean?
Keyman1212 14
Yelling Douchebags Incorporated.
flockz 19
you do incest?
Yousuck24 21
You Dumb Idiot.
ColorfulDonut 7
Your Dick is Invincible
fmlluver1415 6
your da idiot
fmlluver1415 6
your da idiot
smurfsarwales 9
your dog is immature
flockz 19
yodeling duck itcher.
Jesus_Christ69 0
you deserved it.
Keyman1212 14
C-c-c-c-combo breaker!! **** you Jesus... I've always wanted to say that in a non religious sense.
Lucidium 0
it should be in the freezer if she was smart, because then she'd know if some jackass put water in it, leaving it to explode!
damienms 0
yearly ***** income.
whyXD 13
You both need to go to AA.
philtheawesome 0
it doesn't mean you deserved it.
Jesus_Christ69 0
yaay I finally got thumbed down :) I probably shouldnt be happy about that so now you guys are going to thumb this one down :/ humph.. this isn't good..
Jesus_Christ69 0
and Phil I was kidding jeez..
flockz 19
now i know jesus likes getting thumbed...
jsx12345 0
It's you're* Not "your".
iSlappedCupid 0
No, you're* the idiot
footballur 0
You should knock it over on "accident".
ImAHomosexual 0
Drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic you dumb close minded pathetic bitch.
iranoutofnames 6
hahahah^
J0gby 0
I didn't know water had a taste...
SexyQueen0905 24
You deserve it
Trololololololo_fml 7
Pick up the bottle, drop it and make sure it shatters. Say it was an accident.
scrapmetal58 9
Yo Keyman, your shirt fell off. Thought you ought to know. Tell her vodka turns into potato water if left for long periods of time. Also, no sympathy whatsoever.
iLove2LoveU 0
it's FRIDAY FRIDAY:) sorry I just had to bring Rebecca black into this:/
free2speak 14
well she could always replace it with rubbing alcohol. ;)
Emmi3xo 4
you deserve it
coolboy6 0
drop the vodka bottle and tell her that you accidently knocked it over somehow
geechmofoshibab 0
Grammar Nazi.
Keyman1212 14
Dude scrapmetal, shit happens. Good to see you watching our for me!
Didpetercall 9
you can tell when your drinking water jackass
iLove2LoveU 0
I knew mine would get thumbed down:) nobody like Rebecca black
jglenn88 0
your a pothead
JennaMason 6
you deserve it.
mohammedrun 3
You are soooooooo screwed!
_YeahImMe_ 0
If she's not old enough to buy it, why is she drinking it?
Mahomie123 0
I'm sorry I don't get this post at all. I seriously feel like an idiot. can someone explain?
ImAHomosexual 0
Cause that law is bullshit^^^^
grapist 0
same here!
scrapmetal58 9
Keyman, no problem man. I got your back.
justynicole 0
oh hey, how'd it go? ;)
ykthechild 0
You Die, Infidel
ykthechild 0
You Die, Infidel
ykthechild 0
You Die, Infidel
teh_uber_muffin 3
It's You Damned Introvert, my good man.
abbytequiere 9
To all those who said drop it.. Ever smelled anything alcoholic? There's a smell. Water doesn't have a smell. It would be immediately apparent that it's actually just water if the person dropped it. I say they should go get someone to buy some of the same alcohol and fill the bottle back up.
Trololololololo_fml 7
Do it whilst she's not in the house? + it doesn't matter now, OP's probably grounded by this time.
ILoveEmoes 9
If It's a good vodka it shouldn't smell :) And if OP dropped the bottle while her mother wasn't at home it would be cleaned up :)
iamelrebel 0
Pour it down the sink and tell her she drinks too much. At most you will just have to pay her for another bottle.
RhynoBruZ 0
thats what they made the button for dick'ead
RhynoBruZ 0
stop perving, noticed u seem bit stuck up on ur profile? ur shirt fell off too
Pabs24 0
it means he drank her moms vodka replaced it with water. now the moms gonna drink tonight and find out the daughter has been drinking her vodka. pretty self explanatory if you ask me
PwningLamp1 0
Yeah, just look at the kitty. He might have couple beers every few days, but it's not ALL he does. He's just overweight and lazy, not an alcoholic.
munev 0
I do
cindiarystrue 0
hey scrapmetal, where's YOUR shirt?
scrapmetal58 9
Cin, as you can see from my photo I was trapped on a deserted island after falling off of a cruise ship in the Western Caribbean. I used my shirt to fashion a helicopter and fly home. That's why I am able to reply. :) Thanks for caring!
scrapmetal58 9
Rhyno, I'm not stuck up in the slightest nor am I a pervert. I was joking. My profile is meant to be comedic. Christ.
holygodthatshars 0
it means you dumb idiot... at least that's what some other ppl said...
couturegirl2 7
id tap that (;
conmanusmc 0
everyone thumb this comment down! i want to see how many it gets!
Keyman1212 14
340- Sorry, I don't tap fake things.
poopy56 0
I hate u and jesus christ
lovethatpanda 0
it's bullshit? every law is there for a reason.
Xtra_Cheddar 3
your dick's inflamed
cyanne_fml 7
^ Really.........
brenz1126 0
294- dont be an interfering bitch
XavierMedina 0
The kid was drinking his moms vodka,and to replace the portion that was gone he replaced it with water, until it became tasteless.
avaloncode 8
you deserve it
Coalke 5
Hahaha
Strajee 23
You're* come again ?
saIty 17
Fridays are always bad.
GiggidyPants 0
especially when you are as stupid as op
iSitt 0
accidentally drop and shatter the bottle
Niki0308 0
Its because of Rebecca Black!
saIty 17
Actually my fear of Fridays came from Rosie O' Donnell.
Yousuck24 21
I hate Mondays more!
yankee805 0
not when you're Rebecca Black
CasualZombie 6
partying at a young age always has it's drawbacks :(
JoeTheMan12 0
FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN AND.... oh no Rebecca black joke aloud???
chosenunicorny 5
ITS FRIDAY!!!
DearestPluto 0
haha 63 I was totally going to say something like that unless your Rebecca Black!
bluberry1995 4
rebbeca black would defend a Friday with one of her horrendous songs
taazer 12
how can op drop it when ( i guess) op is not sllowed to touch it?
viper2426 0
tell her it evaporated haha!!
Peachy2392 26
The only issue with dropping the bottle would be that you could smell the alcohol, or not, in this case.
CAM241 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hide it that simple
fmlluver1415 6
calm down just tell her she probably did it herself when she was drunk duhh 0.o
knight0748 5
hiding it is only a temp solution. here's what I would do, throw it out and tell her you did it for the sake of her health and cuz u love her so much... and crying a bit would help too..
fadingfaith 4
If I did that to my Dad he would probably slap me across the face and yell at me for wasting a good bottle of vodka.
mattdunc 0
hiding stuff got her into this mess. ur comment just makes no sense... re-read the fml please.
VeeVengeance 0
LOL she's going to go all Casey Anthony on your ass.
MrHughJass 0
Ouch.
joliesbebes 0
Mmm...distasteful.
damienms 0
yearly ***** income
fmlluver1415 6
haha agreed wit #102
frolick123 0
tell her u r concerned abt her drinking problem and that u replaced it becuz u dobt like her wen she drinks
samii09 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if you're too young to buy your own alcohol, then chances are you too young to be drinking it. they don't put an age limit just to be mean, they do it BC you're brains not fully developed till your 25.
HannahForbesxo 13
That's a bit naive really, kids/teenagers are always going to drink, it's just what we do.
wrigleys 4
pff, screw that, good on you, one life, live it. But you've got two choices, accept the consequences or hide the bottle and hope for the best
Stupend0us 7
Going by hoe dumb the OP I don't think it matters whether or not she drinks alcohol.
wordnerd42 0
34 - That's a bit jaded, really. It's a personal decision; plus, teens who choose not to drink are proven less likely to become alcoholics.
Jesus_Christ69 0
it's legal here for me but I'm pretty sure there's a law that makes it younger where if you drink controlled amounts and are not in public. i don't know I just heard that somewhere. but still the generation has changed . I know people 2 years younger than me (I'm 14) that have drank. everyone drinks. I actually don't know one person my age that hasn't drank. the only problem here is how OP drank it. she did something stupid that takes common sense . of course it's going to taste like water. she created that timebomb herself. do it at a party and sleepover at someone's house or just don't drink at all. problem solved.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
thats just political bullshit people can make up their own minds so chill out.
HannahForbesxo 13
54- Fair point, I was simply pointing out that whilst we're all made fully aware of the effects/dangers of drinking, people still do it regardless. Of course it's a personal decision but it's just a fact that many teens do drink, and will continue to whether or not the law is there to try and stop it.
Jesus_Christ69 0
god damn.. it's legal here for me at 19 *
Jesus_Christ69 0
oh and samii or whatever the **** your name is.. I assume you don't have too much fun in your life.. just a guess. loosen up a little. you got one life so you should try to have fun.
Jdgaf 3
shut uuupppp. loser
grrritsolivia 0
*Your brain *You're 25
ImAHomosexual 0
Give me a study that proves that. Trust me the schools only give one side of the argument and only give the evidence that they want to. Never the evidence to the contrary. Why is the drinking age lower in every other country? Do you think they do not care about the citizens health?
RandOmPhyXiO 5
your wasting you typing for even writing that kids under the age of 21 are going to drink get over it
dudeitsdanny 9
66- That doesn't make it right. There's a saying I'm about to butcher, "Right is right, even if no one likes it. Wrong is wrong, even if everyone does it." By the way, hi, nice to meet you. I turn 21 in 2 months and my first taste of alcohol was an accident when I was 2, from my grandpa's beer; my only other one was when my pina colada wasn't alcohol-free like it was supposed to, back when I was 13. Not everyone drinks. And it's not a religious thing(ha!), or a medical thing.. I just don't do it. Most of my friends don't either. My 25 year old girlfriend only did a little at three weddings. So not everyone drinks
MisterMichael 9
shut the hell up
chiddy_bang71 0
131, usually I would thumb down comments like yours, but I'm so excited for the new red hot chili peppers album I have to give you a thumbs up.
chiddy_bang71 0
131, usually I would thumb down comments like yours, but I'm so excited for the new red hot chili peppers album I have to give you a thumbs up.
chiddy_bang71 0
I never thought the double post would happen to me, sorry :(
ImAHomosexual 0
Just because it is illegal doesn't make it "wrong" either. There is no right or wrong for all people. Only what an individual wants to do/ not do.
chili10 18
I think drinking is only wrong if you're letting it controlyour life and if it's hurting the people around you. my boyfriend's dad harrassed me when he was drunk and then beat my boyfriend and his younger brothers. however I do know a lot of people that can control their actions when they drink.
Jacobt24 19
if it wasn't wrong then why is it illegal? Your logic means that even though it's illegal to kill somebody, it's not wrong??????
chili10 18
82, I just wanna say that if you think that you have to drink to have fun then I feel so sorry for you. I used to drink and I can honestly say that my life has been a hundred times more fulfilling and fun now that I don't drink at all.
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
Sorry, I thumbed you down because you messed up you/you're way too many times.
chili10 18
157- I would say that it's illegal, not because it's wrong, but because people tend to abuse it.
scrapmetal58 9
I'm amused that 5 spelled 'your' and "your" correctly yet used them incorrectly. It's a step in the right direction. haha
chili10 18
at least she used the first "you're" correctly..
atomicbaboon 0
I'm just gonna throw this out there. one of the main reasons teens drink is because we're not supposed to. if it was legal not nearly as many people would.
CateXOX 0
I honestly don't understand why 5 is being thumbed down. She has a valid reason not to drink. While I accept the fact that many underage teens will drink, it's their personal choice to do that, and it doesn't make underage drinking right or wrong (even though legally it is wrong). It's also someone's personal choice not to drink even after they're of age. Leave opinions alone.
kellysmith69 1
then explain the logic that we are legally allowed to drink at 18 in Australia. our government isn't as naive as others, they know teenagers drink underage, at 18 you are an adult and are held responsible for your own actions.
cry0 1
okay squarey McSquare-square
karinaprism9 4
no no darling I wouldn't relate killing another human with drinking illegally, one is obviously more severe than the other. (didn't need to go as far as mentioning killing someone but hey if that's how you work...)
BrittanyPernell6 0
Sorry, but I have to bring up the old argument of why is it "right" for 18 yr olds to go be killed in combat but "wrong" for the next 18 yr old signed up for the same job to drink? Just saying if you can choose to die for your country you should be able to choose legally if you want to maybe wake up with a hangover.
ImAHomosexual 0
157. I honestly hate you. It was also illegal to rebel against the brits. It was illegal to free slaves.
ElementalDragon 2
@34 no... Not really. The dumb teenagers, maybe. Kinda like the ones that don't realize that if their parents keep their vodka in the freezer, and they add water to replace what they drank, it won't miraculously not freeze. Hear about that quite often.
lucas18xx53 0
yeah really ^^
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
implying that you can't "live your life" without alcohol is kinda pathetic :/ I'm 15 and I don't drink (I want to be a singer and it damages your vocal chords) or do drugs or smoke, but still have fun and look forward to the future, you don't need alcohol to have a good time :) you just need your mates :)
tweetbaby14 18
if people's brains don't fully develop until 25 they why is the drinking age 21? I mean if brain development is the problem it should be raised.
ashleii2010 0
its actually 18.
stefx0xwallace 6
ya but not all teens who do drink become alcholics.. i drank on the weekends since i was 14... im now 22 and rarely drink so ya if ur gonna be an alcholic itll happen whether or not u drink while ur a teen
hobojones 0
66 in some states if your with your parents then yes, you can have alcohol, but it depends on the state
fauxyhaha 0
dude, I'm 14 and I've had wine with my grandparents. I know sooo many kids my age that drink beer with their dads and stuff. haha and we all go to a Catholic School :))
YayFlameWarz 9
5- Just because you varied in the usage of you 're/your doesn 't mean you know how to use them. Fellow FML grammar nazi's where are you when we need you most!
Dreamcatcher619 6
Yeah but no one knows how old op is anyway. so it doesn't matter!
lovethatpanda 0
um am I the only one who agrees with this girl? drinking underage is not cool. I don't know why everyone thinks it is. it's stupid and there are plenty of ways to entertain yourself without being a drunken moron all the time.
Link5794 18
You've got one life, so try not to end outdoing something stupid.
Stormcloak 20
Nothing annoys me more than being told that all teenagers drink. No, not all teenagers drink.
rinzlerkitty94 31
@34, I waited until I was 21 to start drinking. I wanted to do things the legal way so I could simply enjoy it without that particular risk.
Konarika 11
You realize that only the US is that strict about alcohol? Most other countries have a minimum drinking age of 16-18 and the people are perfectly fine
Konarika 11
You realize that only the US is that strict about alcohol? Most other countries have a minimum drinking age of 16-18 and the people are perfectly fine
LittleScrub 6
Wild Turkey Bourbon is sooo much better :) !!
OasC82 0
yeah cause you know
johnson94 5
don't listen to these dumbasses telling you to lie... I promise your parents did the same thing when they were younger, just confess.... duhhh
DKParth13 5
you are so dumb fo real!
joliesbebes 0
maybe it's time both of you came to terms with your problems and get help (mummy- alcoholic, and presumably physically violent. You- drinking and making homemade versions of vodka)
speshlk37 13
she drinks some vodka on Fridays and you presume she's a violent alcoholic? may I presume you're an idiot...?
ElectricEffect 13
Well put 33.
joliesbebes 0
well, when you write that your life is a "ticking time bomb" it implies that something bad going to happen to you. granted, I don't know if she's an alcoholic or not but it doesn't give you the right to call me an idiot, so calm down it's just fml.
speshlk37 13
hey, I asked nicely...
chiddy_bang71 0
it's a ticking time bomb because she's gonna get busted. she's not going to get physically abused. she's just going to be confronted or maybe yelled out/grounded.
chili10 18
9- I really hope you're joking.
bitchslapped22 14
I think OP has more of a problem than the mother if she constantly sneaks vodka from her mother. She is probably more of an alcoholic than the mother if the mother only drinks on Fridays. Teens shouldn't drink, no matter who says otherwise.
Rosser121 0
98-you drink all your parents vodka and tell me what happens
LNK112 5
AA family meetings?
waitwhatsgoingon 18
Is your picture from White Chicks?
Yournamehere42 7
Way to think that one through, OP.
head2133 12
take some from a friend or go to the store and get somebody to buy it for u or if u have no choice steal some
supermankisses 1
Yes, because jail would be so much better than getting grounded or yelled at.