Health: Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly...

By notonthepavement - 15/02/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 742

You deserved it 1 667

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Same thing different taste

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 189

You deserved it 69 389

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 193

You deserved it 8 968

By fuckmeintheeyewitharing - 03/07/2016 12:52 - United States - La Mesa

Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 1 393

By RhiannonMuh - 09/09/2016 20:01 - Germany - Starnberg

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 411

You deserved it 3 063

Don't try this at home

By Lunar-Spice - 07/11/2020 08:01

Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 815

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 278

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 461

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 237

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 721

You deserved it 3 396

By RedEye - 11/07/2017 17:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 641

You deserved it 335

Welshite 39

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.

Bustedbutsilent 13

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.

Comments

Crazion 26

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

I seriously hope you're alright.

youdontsay123456 21

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

That's gotta hurt like hell. Go to the doctor OP, hope your eye heals quick

Hoopachi 19

Tuesday 16 February 2016 6:09

All the puns are pretty cornea if you ask me

Bradley_Dillon 39

Wednesday 17 February 2016 1:46

If your contact lens can go behind your eye, you've got some other problems.

Bustedbutsilent 13

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.

Zelphoric 25

Monday 15 February 2016 18:14

We can turn a blind eye, this time.

oreoeater 21

Monday 15 February 2016 19:44

Ive seen all I can take

spacefish966 18

Tuesday 16 February 2016 8:51

I wonder if he didn't grasp the concept of a blind date. ;)

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 16 February 2016 20:02

He really blind sided her with that one.

Welshite 39

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.

mattzawesome 28

Monday 15 February 2016 18:14

I laughed harder then I should have at that

JZY1989 23

Monday 15 February 2016 18:14

at least it won't pop out anytime soon.

thomasmh97 10

Monday 15 February 2016 18:15

Happy valentines... Am I right?

brenton490 19

Tuesday 16 February 2016 0:39

What Valentine's? I didn't see anything.

PuppiesKisses 15

Monday 15 February 2016 18:16

I hope he didn't scratch anything while he was at it. Best of luck OP!

MOOSE786 8

Monday 15 February 2016 18:17

The question here is, was it worth it?

whysobeachy 37

Monday 15 February 2016 19:53

No.

katie1243 16

Monday 15 February 2016 18:19

I guess he was a sight for sore....EYE

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Monday 15 February 2016 23:53

You didn't even say it right

nickie_94 18

Monday 15 February 2016 18:33

I guess your next date will be at the hospital

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Love Money Racism Harassment My ex Embarrassing Work Accident AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Health Relatable Gifts Annoying LGBTQIA+ Inappropriate Education Teachers Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cats Cute Friends Transportation Cars Scams

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 043

Today, I panicked when I realized two of my diaries were missing. I turned the house upside down, and found them in the guest room, tucked away in a dresser drawer. My only visitor in the last six months was my mom. I’m 37 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 232

The Top

Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 653

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 045

You deserved it 6 606

Today, I realised that whenever I make eye contact with a stranger, I yawn. I work at a McDonald's FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out that my fiancé has been talking to another girl behind my back about how much he hates being with me. Turns out he’s been talking to her everyday for 3 months, and she kept pushing him to leave me, but he was only staying because I cook for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 231

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 237

You deserved it 5 233

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 152

You deserved it 10 287

Same thing different taste

Don't try this at home

Too stupid

How does that happen?

Leave it to the pros

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