Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML
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Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Yelling Douchebags Incorporated.
philtheawesome 0
what about for the last few weeks? I thought Friday was every week...
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Comments (419)
dayrin7 4
noo droping it in front of her wont help, because she will notice that it dont smell like vodka. juss hope it was worth it, dont worry one day you"ll laugh about this :)!
smartypants96 3
good point
MrBobby_fml 7
lol wtf did you think was gonna happen....?
missbays 1
maybe buy your own next time?
Calyx_fml 21
You're on the way to becoming an alcoholic. Eat pot cookies instead.
drewski50 6
Way to be a dumb ass..
muffinkitty 15
tell her you watered it down because you were worried about her becoming an alcoholic. it's worth a shot! still I must say, you totally deserved it.
abasio 1
When she comes home, make a big show of pouring it down the sink and tell you think she has a drinking problem.
DMBTimCA 0
maybe she' sodomize you with a watered down vodka bottle. DON'T STEAL FROM YOUR FAMILY, baby alcoholic.
raphanne_fml 33
What were you expecting? Jesus Christ changing it back to alcohol? (the real Jesus Christ, not the combo breaker)
mima77 0
Shutup.
macallan8 0
just tell your mom you replaced her vodka cuz u dont like her having a "bad habit" or something like that. turn it on her. y not?