Geek: Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 92

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 40

31/10/2014 10:46

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 841

You deserved it 4 452

Dysfunctional

BO Central

Phantom pooper

25/08/2015 05:51

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 964

You deserved it 1 641

11/09/2010 23:15

Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 4 674

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 576

You deserved it 9 324

13/11/2014 02:48

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 4 603

07/06/2019 04:10

Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 914

You deserved it 169

28/11/2010 05:05

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 477

You deserved it 5 482

24/02/2013 21:20

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 746

You deserved it 5 600

21/09/2009 16:32

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 839

You deserved it 3 108

23/11/2014 16:34

Spicy

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 899

You deserved it 5 554

24/11/2012 01:29

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 639

You deserved it 1 880

11/02/2016 01:15

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 344

You deserved it 4 286

20/01/2011 21:37

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 369

You deserved it 15 791

19/02/2010 20:36

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 5 186

20/09/2013 22:20

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 987

You deserved it 4 049

21/08/2013 04:40

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 481

You deserved it 7 381

12/10/2012 01:51

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 163

You deserved it 8 135

Gratitude walks

By Erin - 22/04/2021 17:01

Spicy

Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the drawing, he groped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 202

28/02/2011 06:00

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 818

You deserved it 3 110

16/01/2010 07:22

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 470

You deserved it 27 212

25/01/2011 02:33

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 791

06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a restaurant to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 134

30/06/2010 00:39

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 850

You deserved it 28 834

12/07/2013 05:19

Spicy

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 870

You deserved it 12 180

08/04/2012 05:13

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 783

You deserved it 2 722

06/04/2009 04:39

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 000

You deserved it 6 278

22/09/2014 10:58

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 735

You deserved it 3 445

16/01/2013 06:36

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 560

You deserved it 3 139

28/05/2012 05:01

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 267

You deserved it 2 434

21/07/2012 07:40

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 5 394

28/10/2016 02:31

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 349

You deserved it 1 105

26/12/2015 02:03

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 451

You deserved it 1 370

07/02/2009 20:56

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 4 844

07/10/2011 00:40

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 693

You deserved it 41 677

22/02/2009 19:02

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 12 341

12/01/2009 15:56

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 969

You deserved it 6 791

15/05/2013 16:54

Spicy

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 646

You deserved it 11 720

08/02/2018 13:00

Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 526

You deserved it 1 530

22/10/2009 12:26

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 045

You deserved it 35 027

11/02/2013 07:46

Spicy

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 3 377

Creeped out

By Really jealous - 26/01/2021 09:31

Spicy

Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 197

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Top comments

vreid 20

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:26

Send her north of the wall!

toxic_walrus 15

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:28

Anybody who spoils a TV show isn't a true friend ?

Comments

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:26

what a douche lol

sayyestothedress 24

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Friday 31 October 2014 19:15

You should spoil your friends face!

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Friday 31 October 2014 23:15

Don't worry OP, it's still fantastic even if you know what's going to happen! With the books already out there it woulda been hard for you not to find out stuff anyway. (That was still a lame thing to do, though. Such a no-no.)

vreid 20

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:26

Send her north of the wall!

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Friday 31 October 2014 17:04

Brace yourself, murder is coming

BigLatchZatch 14

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Friday 31 October 2014 19:06

And let the Wights take her!

XPhoenixFire 17

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Friday 31 October 2014 19:21

Off with her head!!!

BillMurray_fml 12

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Saturday 1 November 2014 4:28

Let the flames cleanse and purify her soul

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:27

That would piss me off. That's my favorite show!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

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Friday 31 October 2014 17:44

I like the books better but the show is also amazing!

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:27

Brace yourself, spoilers are coming, wait too late

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Sunday 2 November 2014 2:39

In Book 10, the last word of Hodor is "Hodor".. there, I said it. You may now stop watching GoT for there is no further reason...

toxic_walrus 15

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:28

Anybody who spoils a TV show isn't a true friend ?

toxic_walrus 15

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:29

Sorry guys that question mark was an accident

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Friday 31 October 2014 17:59

#7 Thanks for the spoiler.

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Friday 31 October 2014 21:50

Well, a friend who spoils anything isn't a true friend.

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Saturday 1 November 2014 4:31

Well I agree, you don't need that negativity in your life lol

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:28

Oh the horror!!

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:29

you need a new friend....

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:30

Tell your friend Spoiler alert: you clam will be kicked. *kick*

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:37

Your ***

christina3466 17

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:32

Only true readers understand the pain of people doing this.

PerditaDessa 38

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Friday 31 October 2014 19:01

Readers tend to spoil the show for those who don't read the books. Personally, I find it hard not to smile or give anything away when a friend picks a favorite character.

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Sunday 2 November 2014 2:40

Isn't it their own fault? I mean, first rule of Game Of Thrones : Never ever under any circumstances pick yourself a favorite character....you'll end up in tears

anythingmustbe 18

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Friday 31 October 2014 16:37

This FML scares me because of the spoilers that could be posted here.