Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 33
Well..you didn't marry her for her brain..
carry_on 19
I'm not sure your wife should be allowed to have kids to be honest...
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Comments (111)
Llama_Face89 33
Well..you didn't marry her for her brain..
JocelynKaulitz 28
Brains over brawn dude…
SuperTroll187 10
I don't very much think he was referring that OP married She hulk.
SuperTroll187 10
Implying* not referring...
sig4life 18
I sure as hell hope not. I hope the attraction is there when she isn't talking, or rather going away as she does talk
alphaskater09 9
Can I have your socks?
alphaskater09 9
Why must I be discriminated against? All I did was ask for some nice socks. Their is no need for the unnecessary down votes. Ignorant selfish people. Uhg.
chocolateisyum 12
Maybe you should try and find a smarter wife. Otherwise when you do finally have children, they may turn out as smart as Homer Simpson.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
But then again, maybe she's Homer and Lisa would come. Wait...Bart would come first, right? Yeah OP, maybe consider not having kids.
ryukensfj 5
But Homer is really smart... He just has a crayon up his nose and stuck in his brain.
dragoongirl90 34
That's an insult to Homer Simpson.
kickass1stbase 7
She should get ovulation sticks
mb2_native 15
Or mark the best time to do it on a calendar,or have sex as often as you can until she is impregnated. Best way to do it!
MistaKrista 8
...or stop taking birth control.
mb2_native 15
Yea, that's sort of a must...
carry_on 19
I'm not sure your wife should be allowed to have kids to be honest...
rakusu_klein 24
I know worse people with kids... one's even officially not fit to be a father, so he isn't even allowed to be alone with the child... so OP's problem is only modest
mb2_native 15
#7, that's called a deadbeat father/mother. It's different when they just don't think sometimes or have blonde moments, in OP's wife's case, a 5 month long blonde moment.... Or she can just be dumb.
1coolchic 4
Sounds like a good thing that you guys haven't procreated.
Mahtari 19
I hope you're a rocket scientist. That is the only way your kids will have a shot at having average IQs.
free2speak 14
^^^ best comment ever.
waffule365 16
with her level of intelligence maybe its best not to have kids.
rhevenge 19
idiot.....does she not know what birth control is for? SO YOU DON'T GET PREGNANT! how could you not know how smart your wife is?
21jason 9
We are all aware of what it is for
phatdaddy62 23
Too stupid to breed. That's pretty bad!
cosmosis 12
But not too stupid to keep trying;) ...
BigDogMatt 13
I know someone on that level
abrookec2011 14
I feel natural selection is running its course.