Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 33
Well..you didn't marry her for her brain..
carry_on 19
I'm not sure your wife should be allowed to have kids to be honest...
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Comments (111)
lishajoy777 14
Woooooooooow....
13ky13 20
14, ^These are always my favourite comments. They're just so interesting to read.
truesarrif 33
I prefer the comments people post twice myself
13ky13 20
78, I would thumb you up myself if it showed up double for me, but it doesn't.
truesarrif 33
lol fair enough
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Let's hope your kids will get your brains...
poccocurantes 7
What kids?
ThisIsHard 5
His brains let him marry an idiot. We can't trust him either.
DasHaas 9
Some people just shouldn't have children.
dogpfcorn 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And you....a guy....are complaining about having sex constantly for 5 months with no condom?! Dude sounds like you got it all right there
DKjazz 20
I know! I sure hope she doesn't figure out what's wrong.
Pleonasm 35
Yes because having sex without a condom is the be all and end all of EVERY man's life, and I could think of nothing he could want more.... Oh wait! A baby, maybe? A wife who has enough sense to not use the pill when they are trying to conceive? But yes, having sex without a condom is great consolation for all that, I agree. He has it going pretty sweet and has no room to complain.
StaceeeP 23
because she was on the pill before they were trying for a baby they were probably having sex without a condom anyway so it probably wouldn't have been that big a deal for him
poccocurantes 7
Except kids.
Momo_Moonlight 25
Your wife doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the tanning bed...
Michael_92 20
Or the sharpest butter knife in the drawer.
swimgood 16
Or the fastest horse in the race.
oj101 33
My god it's breeding.
zandalee 19
She sounds about as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.
pssecho 9
haha nice :D
cmac86 23
well, I hope you're having fun anyway. you may not get a baby out of it, but that shouldn't keep you from having the fun of trying.
PrincessPesa 20
OP's wife sounds like the kind of gal who thinks using two condoms is 199% effective at preventing pregnancy! Sometimes I wish there were a competency test to pass before being allowed to have children.
Squygm 7
If potential parents are so harshly scrutinized to adopt a child, it should be that difficult to create them.
hsRoseTyler5 14
The only thing you said that I disagree with is when you said "sometimes".
Shorty777 4
And you trust her to have your children?