Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 33
Well..you didn't marry her for her brain..
carry_on 19
I'm not sure your wife should be allowed to have kids to be honest...
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Comments (111)
maz95 17
I wonder if this has got you doubting the idea of having kids now. If it were me, I would be. Good luck to your future kids!
dontpanic_fml 32
Mayhaps she doesn't want children.
cheertrombonist 9
'Mayhaps' she dumb. :|
dontpanic_fml 32
Hey, don't judge me for liking the word "mayhaps". I've heard guys come up with lots of BS excuses when they don't want to have children under the guise of being dumb, so who's to say it's not the case for this woman.
cheertrombonist 9
...is this where I apologize? :P
dontpanic_fml 32
Yes :'( But you're right, there's a good chance she's dumb.
cheertrombonist 9
oh... well then.. we are on two different. wavelengths.
dontpanic_fml 32
I am ultraviolet and you are infrared; it was never meant to be
serge25 4
Sure, thinking is not her strongest asset. But she has to have other ones right?
mybraveface 6
YDI for marrying her..
BeachGirl27 23
Are you absolutely sure you want this woman to contribute half of your child's genetic complement? Yikes!
cougar41 8
Your wife is an idiot lmao sorry matey
bingbongbingbong 11
Sorry dude your wife is stupid
FYLDeep 25
This is like the first FML I've read in a month and it was kind of a depressing read. So much for being optimistic about humanity.
WaywardDaughter 26
Really you came to FML for optimism? Are you OPs brother in law?
FYLDeep 25
Part of me enjoyed reading this FML, but I think another part of me died.
peacefully84 19
Sounds like Gods way of making sure she doesn't breed. Now if only all stupid people thought the way she does...
SplashMash 9
I literally burst out laughing when I read this. FYL x9999999999