Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
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Comments (106)
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
For real, if you "hate" your girlfriend then end it. Stop torturing yourself and delaying the inevitable.
LiesAndMischief 4
No kidding. Time to man up and end the relationship before things get real ugly, OP. I've seen what happens when people stay with someone they can't stand and I think it's needless to say that the result is almost always less than pleasant.
Drigr 9
One of the few FMLs where "dump him/her" is the proper response..
jillybee101 7
73- And one of those few where "dump her" is actually an appropriate response.
Jezlovespink 5
break up with her before things get worse there are people who have babies with their girlfriend/boyfriend that they hate and get married and are REALLY ******, so if u really hate her then end it now before its too late, because there are kids that are suffering out there that don't get to be with their mom/dad because the parents hate each other, or they are suffering because they live with parents that fight/hate each other....
Sleepy_Hallow 7
I think it is ironic that OP put this FML in the love category.
lovelyheadache 16
Maybe she's one of those crazy girlfriends that will key his car, slash his tires, etc.... it's possible.
fml121785 14
Wow! That's harsh! Hate is a strong word that should be rarely used. If the feeling is that strong, maybe you should consider at least taking a break from her. If that doesn't work some counseling may help. If all else fails, breaking up is about the only solution I see fit. :/
dorko_is_me 6
Very well said. It's a shitty environment to grow up in OP!
5n000w 4
85- All I can say is, "WOW..." (grammar)
cash_monkey72 9
If you hate her so much, just come out and tell her to her face. Don't just post it on the Internet douchebag.
biggestfan23 11
Is "W" all you have to say on this matter?
deadxwedding84 5
12- Think you replied to the wrong comment dude
FtP_Benihana 0
"I will dump my girlfriend because I need my own space" Believe in your smellf
doctorhook86 25
Don't hit it (but do quit it), OP.
teameminem 2
You need to ditch the bitch :P
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
Qandol 26
After all this might prove that we men don't love sex as much as women says so.
CadillacPimpen 6
I still do...
destroyer69 0
I don't no what you are talking about, but I don't think that is why op was happy I think he was happy because she probably isn't amazing in bed.
winnerme123 8
Doesn't matter had .... Wait... He never had sex... Never mind let me crawl back in my hole.
charmedamethyst 14
I don't know what you're talking about but I think OP is happy because he hates his girlfriend.
charmedamethyst 14
58 - I don't know what you're talking about but I think OP was happy because he hates his girlfriend.
jillybee101 7
You guys are imbeciles. He's excited to not have sex with his GIRLFRIEND. Not sex in general you moron.
Keattles 14
66 - umm, he said in the post that he won't have sex ANYMORE. So he did have sex, but he won't anymore, at least for awhile. I still think OP should man up and end it while he still can.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Never know, it could be a girl. Keep an open mind guys ;)
laden_swallow09 35
111- Reading comprehension. Use it.
JustKittyKat 24
Then dump her and find someone that makes you happy?
Xephyr 1
The phrase "I hate my girlfriend" should never be spoken. If you didn't like her, you wouldn't have committed to her.
slurshies 11
come on, grow a pair of [healthy] balls and dump that bitch!
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Then why are you with her?
domking1315 20
Cause his unicorn is missing.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
OMG MINE IS TOO! Does his girlfriend kidnap unicorns?!?
domking1315 20
It's a conspiracy...
Azula272 14
40 year old virgin!
biggestfan23 11
I don't think that fits this scenario
howdeedoo 22
Not at all
vintage3113 6
Lol @ the 40 down votes when I first saw this
Nbackus9 4
They must all have been virgins XD
CoDandBlowjobs 8
112 are you retarded?
DontThumbMeDown 8
Why stay if you dont love her? Youre only going to hurt her.
DontThumbMeDown 8
Why stay with her*
BawsOfTheBeasts 5
You forgot the apostrophe.
chellyX92 8
There's no excuse to stay with someone that you can not stand. End the relationship and call it a day. It would probably be more healthy to do so.
MichellinMan 20
PIIIIKAAAAA...
BioncaLuLu69 3
Choooooo ._.
Mioko_fml 6
I agree, you are not doing her a favor by staying with her but hates her. If you don't like her, break up, find someone else. By staying with her, you're holding her up from someone else that actually love and appreciate her.
mrsmirk 8
I wonder if he failed to mention her money or psychotic love for him
pittyfinny 4
That poor cat
chellyX92 8
150. That could be a possibility. I had a friend that couldn't stand her boyfriend when I asked why they were still together she said he threatened to kill him self. When she finally left she had to get his parents involved just to make sure he wouldn't hurt her or himself. People can be insane. Still no reason to make yourself miserable.
nerdchic 5
Why not just dump her? Moron..
ambylyn2010 3
Agreed.
nick315 8
If you hate your girlfriend that much don't date her. It's not fair for ether of you.
jtn143lmb 4
It's either*
nerdchic 5
^^^^ grammar nazi!!! :D