Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
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Comments (106)
karencitaa 4
Bad Kitty Spank Spank
TrueTriage 16
The plot thickens.
sassypenguinxox 15
Wow, if you are still with her when you hate her, you must either want to stick with what's familiar to you or you are just settling due to not being able to get anyone else. Either are not good reasons to stay with someone when you hate them.
Le_Anonymous 9
Stop being stupid and break up with her. If you hate her, that's only making the relationship even worse.
retrorewind 13
why did the doctor tell u "not" to have sex for two months???? oh... and u really should talk to ur girlfriend about why and how u feel about her.
spacemanspiff78 7
I don't think I could ever be happy to receive that news. Maybe you're just anti-sex?
YoshiMike13 4
thats kinda mean. you should have broken up with her before you got to this point.
boofybluth 6
You hate her because she isn't good in bed?! Wtf...
Schizomaniac 24
Read the FML again, my dear.
alexlovescandy 3
Ummm... And your staying with her why?
LittleGreenPaola 23
How can you spend your life with someone you hate? You should put an end to this, for both of you.