Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
kayla_nicole102 1
Maybe he doesn't want to dump her because she's the only girl he can get.and he'd rather be in a sucky relationship than be lonely and single
donut_gurl 8
and why are you still with her? break up with her NOW before its too late
andrizzel 6
Lol, the doctor saved you!!!!;)
sophie22_fml 8
YDI for dating someone you hate, you're an ass. I can't believe there are so many guys saying how much they hate their girlfriends or saying they are bitches but really you have the power to break up the relationship instead of whining to your friends how awful your girlfriend is.
awkward_gothlady 32
If he does the honest thing, he's not an ass. And that would be not to string her along if he no longer loves her, and stay with her if he does.
sophie22_fml 8
I really don't remember saying if he breaks up with her he's an ass, all I'm saying is guys talking behind their girlfriends' back are asses when the right thing to do would be breaking up with them instead of whining about how much they hate their girlfriends.
downtime 13
Because they don't hate them, they're venting because they are annoyed about something. Not many guys remain with girls they ACTUALLY hate, and it seems odd to me that you are talking like this is a common occurrence.
rebeccac3 5
It is definitely time to have the break up talk
hurrican_fml 0
What time is it? Break up time!
krewer21 1
OP, are you a heavy sleeper, and are you in Georgia?
notepie 6
Wow dude if your that unhappy break it up with her
trucker67 10
Man if I ever get excited about not having sex I want someone to shoot me dead !! - break up and get on with your life and let her do the same .
lizziebeth63 1
Try and find someone else your not gonna have sex anyway