Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
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Comments (106)
Urpoppy 21
It's time to break up buddy.
kittygirl21 5
That's jacked up. Stop leading her on if u don't like her. Ydi.
Marrach 7
Does she know? Is she rebellious? Snobby? If not, you should've broke up eons ago.Otherwise YDI, you're only gonna hurt her the longer you stay.
dog1999 2
Time to stop pretending everything is fine and let her know how you feel. Will be better for the both of you.
robo_thunder 13
More like f her life for thinking she is in a happy relationship when really shes with a dick who is leading her on.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Excited over no sex? WHAT ID THIS SOCERY?!?
jarockstar27 10
Aaaannnnddd why are you still with her?! Seriously do yourself a favor and break up with her....its better for both of you
laxonlaxonlax 5
Why are you still with her..?
perdix 31
Things are going to be great when you get married! When the doctor tells you to refrain from sex with the wife you hate, you'll **** in your pants!
AidenSurvival 7
Dump her if you hate her. I don't understand why couples do this shit. I'll never understand relationships.