Miscellaneous: Wish you were here

Wish you were here

By iwannagotomiamitoo - 19/08/2013 04:30 - United States - Brookline

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I'm also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. Fuck identity theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 692

You deserved it 3 167

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Same thing different taste

Stranded

By mmmmmm no - 24/06/2021 02:00

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 169

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 04:00

Today, I finally made it to my hotel in Florida, only to discover my boss was holidaying in the same hotel with her wife. So far I’ve run into them three times, at the pool, in the bar, and in the gym, and every time she ends up asking me work related questions. It's like I never left the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 104

You're nicked!

By Jong - 10/03/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I arrived at work, only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. Five hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 333

You deserved it 2 768

Stuck here

By Anonymous - 19/03/2011 12:13 - United States

Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 173

You deserved it 4 123

Where is my mind?

By LAXsucks - 20/10/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I'd left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I'd left my phone on the hotel counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 964

You deserved it 36 846

I'm alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack

By brokeandalone - 30/07/2013 05:09 - United States

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 317

You deserved it 3 436

By Caitlin - 10/06/2010 00:46 - United States

Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 303

You deserved it 45 778

By Meghan Elise - 02/03/2019 16:00

Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 168

By Chelsea - 18/05/2013 08:57 - Australia - Perth

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 639

You deserved it 5 472

Trust

By Goodtimes - 01/10/2019 20:01

Today, I had to dump my girlfriend because of tons of trust issues that kept reappearing. Shortly afterwards, my credit card disappeared and I got to experience my first identity theft. All within 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 147

webbface 25

Monday 19 August 2013 12:13

Lol better go buy what you want now while you can still blame id theft!

Powerfull_fml 8

Monday 19 August 2013 12:21

Report to the police immediately, as there are a lot of "five star services" in Miami, and some of them can put you in jail...

Comments

hessel 13

Monday 19 August 2013 12:09

get over there and triple bitch slap the ************ with a round house kick

OnlyTheDarkest 17

Monday 19 August 2013 13:39

How do you bitch slap someone with a kick?

rg350dx 29

Monday 19 August 2013 13:48

What, what you got a problem with this? Maybe I should kick you in the face, with my fist.

TrueTriage 16

Monday 19 August 2013 15:08

See 1 is so skillful he can do a triple bitch slap with a single kick breaking all forms of logic and barriers of possibility. And I guess he slaps with his foot...

uoeno_fml 20

Monday 19 August 2013 15:31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Slawter16 24

Monday 19 August 2013 16:16

#33, this is FML, not Club Penguin.

lwonderful 11

Monday 19 August 2013 16:41

That's the worst thing to do. You have no idea who this person is. Best thing to do is go to the police

LeFrogDog 27

Monday 19 August 2013 17:03

#33 censor is a bad word? because you c*nsored it.

uoeno_fml 20

Monday 19 August 2013 18:16

I'll see my self out. I thought some of you would catch my sarcasm due to the censoring that OP used

CrazyShytHappens 4

Monday 19 August 2013 20:10

I love how people say something in seriousness and then when other people downvote them or call them out, they say, "Oh, it was sarcasm." Yeah right.

hessel 13

Monday 19 August 2013 20:58

im not being sarcastic thats for sure. my comment may be downvoted but everybody wants that identity thief down. i was just saying what people were thinking

PinkieKeen 20

Monday 26 August 2013 8:02

"triple bitch slap that ************ with a roundhouse kick" WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD

webbface 25

Monday 19 August 2013 12:13

Lol better go buy what you want now while you can still blame id theft!

Wizardo 33

Monday 19 August 2013 12:36

He can't buy anything, someone stole OP's ID and details and is draining OP's account.

Since1998 20

Monday 19 August 2013 13:47

OP can still buy things... Identity theft isn't a block out of your identity, it's someone pretending to be you by using your information (credit card, social security number, name, etc) to buy things or get into places.

Shaved_Llamas 11

Monday 19 August 2013 15:43

In order to do this OP could only buy things in Miami..

webbface 25

Monday 19 August 2013 17:10

Sounds like the perfect time for a little vacation in Mami lol

Bevspeaks 11

Monday 19 August 2013 12:14

Cancel all credit cards and make that bitch as miserable as possible then find them and **** THEM UP

kitkat2701 18

Monday 19 August 2013 12:14

Love that movie! You better get to Miami fast and get them arrested!

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Monday 19 August 2013 12:19

Now's as good a time as any to go to Florida; while you're there, bring the identity thief to justice. Who knows, maybe someone will make a mediocre comedy film about your story.

rockstar362 8

Monday 19 August 2013 21:51

Mediocre is far too much credit given IMO

LennyComa 39

Monday 19 August 2013 12:19

Cancel All cards and report to the police, Job done

Since1998 20

Monday 19 August 2013 13:49

And wait up to a year or longer...

Powerfull_fml 8

Monday 19 August 2013 12:21

Report to the police immediately, as there are a lot of "five star services" in Miami, and some of them can put you in jail...

CarbonCoach 11

Tuesday 20 August 2013 17:58

Police in the US don't do jack shit. They eat doughnuts and pretend to work as they're cruising in their cars. They don't care about you unless you're in the business class or higher. If you did report to them they would solve your case in a year and by then the thief would have fled.

Grand_Cookie 21

Monday 19 August 2013 12:33

Evil twins, man. They're assholes.

andrewturtle 16

Monday 19 August 2013 13:39

Oh really? I always though they were vaginas.

michaeljcaboose 7

Monday 19 August 2013 12:35

In hindsight, perhaps you shouldn't have posted your social security number on the side of a rolling billboard for a Lifelock commercial.

OnlyTheDarkest 17

Monday 19 August 2013 13:42

Look everyone it's a joke *Where???* Never mind.. It went over your heads.

allie2590 31

Monday 19 August 2013 14:49

It sure went over mine.

OnlyTheDarkest 17

Tuesday 20 August 2013 1:48

The man that runs the company LifeLock posted his SSN on the side of a rolling billboard as proof of how good his company is. His identity got stolen. Understand the irony now?