Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
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Comments (106)
mrkck 0
Time to become a monk.
SunTzu2 9
Sounds like your doctor is treating you for some serious problem. I'm sorry for him too...
lashes_to_ashes 14
F HER life. She can't be that bad if you didn't realise you hate her lol. So it sucks for her. Save her the hurt and please break up gently.
DivineSunshine 1
Break up with her. Life is too short to be with somebody that you don't love passionately.
RedPillSucks 33
Nah. Stay with her, man. Remember how close to your head that last brick through your window was? And how much did it cost to repair the paint job on your car? Psycho bitch sex can be awesome, just go with the flow.
pnutbutternjelly 15
You are only making things bad for the both of you. It is unfair for you both to stay with her when you are not happy.
noisebox 1
Move then
Fisheyedfool7 2
What do you have that you can't have sex for two months? Hmm, sounds suspiciously like the clap to me! Dump her ya dirtbag.
Seethatguy 3
"If you don't want to root for your team, then you should get the f**k out of the stadium." -Stan Marsh It wasn't exactly meant for this situation, but it works.
FWG420 2
dump her!