Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
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Comments (106)
venomousddog 19
Everyone has been saying this, but you guys should brake up, you guys need to be happy with someone you love
deemoe 5
Ur life sucks cause u cant have sex for two months
vannee23 3
Do you people even understand what he is saying!!! She have him a disease so that's why he hates her!!!!
simonepedretti 7
how bout breaking up with her instead of leading her on asshole
MriFunny 6
And yet she's still your girlfriend...
ramakandra 3
if you hate her, why dont you ditch her? afraid you cant get someone else?
irritatedone 5
If you're getting excited about NOT having sex with your girlfriend then maybe try it with a guy. Who knows, you might be gay and just don't know it yet. Just sayin'.
joker230 2
Smh Wat guy gets happy over those words...
courtneybro 0
Break up with her then..?
HannahtheRunner 0
If you hate her why are you dating her? Asshole