Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hockeyboy4280 18
First ever guy to get excited over those words...
deadxwedding84 5
Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Am I the only one wondering why she can't have sex for two months?
c8750 2
Maybe he's the football player that got his cup smashed into his groin the other day...
challan 19
groin pull or bruised pelvis?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Broke his dick while attempting the Italian chandelier?
ultra_notorious 26
Curious as to why you're even with her if you're so miserable? Sounds like its time to move on.
dellis44 7
don't lead her on. if you don't like her then breakup with her.
nonnieluv 9
And somehow logic tells you to stay in a relationship where you hate your girlfriend? Ydi
Warden1986 16
I guess he needs, a 1-800-Spock line.
missunderstanded 5
I think iy may be time to end the relationship then so that way she wont keep falling more in love while you resent her more.
yosoyjefe 9
Why are you still with her then??
erinchick1 7
Why date her if you don't love her?!
hateevryone 15
Just break up with her if you hate her so much.
carminecris89 13
Then why are you still with her? If you know she's the not the one dump her so she can go find someone else and let you do the same. I don't understand people who continue to date someone they are not into. It wastes everyone's time.
mikeymayhem_87 15
I am guessing OP just wanted sex all the time. But even now, he hates it. YDI for not manning up and ending the relationship, OP!